A COLLECTION OF ARTICLES BY GARRY BUSHELL

CAMPAIGN CORNER

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE AN ENGLAND

“There is a forgotten, nay almost forbidden word, which means more to me than any other. That word is ENGLAND.” -
Sir Winston Churchill

HOW would it play in Dublin if a senior Irish politician demanded that the country stopped celebrating St Patrick’s Day because of the shame brought on Catholicism by paedophile priests and indiscriminate bombers?

What would they say in Paris if the boss of TV channel TF1, Gaston de Garlic, said that Bastille Day should be abolished because of the shame of Vichy or the crimes of French imperialism in Algeria and Indo-China?

Imagine how it’d go down in Holyrood if some stern-faced son of the manse called for the abolition of Burns Night celebrations because of Scotland’s long history of bigotry, obesity, lousy food, gloominess and heroin addiction. The reactions would, you’d imagine, run the gauntlet from hilarity to apoplexy.

There isn’t a country in the world without some kind of stain on its national character. The Spanish torture cattle, for God’s sake. The Yanks blunder from one overseas disaster to another. And let’s not get started on Columbia, not without a razor blade and a large supply of straws at any rate.

All of these nations manage to have at least one day a year where they can make a song and dance about their cultural identity. The one nation that doesn’t is England.

The English are the only people in the world who are repeatedly told that it is wrong to celebrate our history and heritage and whose major cultural institution, the BBC, thinks its achievements are shameful and its customs are somehow distasteful.
Tony Blair, who was born and privately educated in Scotland, gave the Sweaty Socks a Parliament stating rightly that they are a “proud and historic nation”. But his Deputy, John Prescott, who was born in Wales, is on record as saying “There is no such nationality as English.”

No such nationality as English. Presumably you and I are merely dutiful citizens of North West Europe, whose main purpose seems to be to subsidise “proud and historic” Scotland.

Prescott and Blair, you may recall, even tried to chop England up into nine regions, with expensive talking shop assemblies, regional flags and identities. They wanted to Balkanize us; to do away with England altogether in order to ram us more efficiently into the Euro-mincer.

In his ten years as Chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown handed £60billion more public money to Scotland than to England – enough to build 238 hospitals. He couldn’t have rubbed our noses in it more if he’d lined up every English MP in the House of Commons and poured congealed porridge oats down the front of their pants while a platoon of pipers repeatedly knocked out that rotten dirge, O Flower Of Scotland, in the background.

OUR rulers are infected with a disdain for everything English that runs as deep as one of our many derelict coal mines. George Orwell, the great patriotic socialist, detected it back in the 1930s when he wrote that “England is perhaps the only great country whose intellectuals are ashamed of their nationality.”

Partly this was down to the guilt of Empire; partly it stemmed from the influence amongst the Oxbridge elite of a powerful group of traitors who preferred Stalin’s Russia to their own country. Now their descendents want to dissolve us into the EU after falling out of love with a succession of foreign tyrants from Castro to Mao to Osama Bin Laden via the Irish Republican Army. It’s the Guardian mentality: England is always in the wrong, no matter what murderous rogue we are up against. But are they right?

In fact the English have far less to be ashamed of than other European nations. We aren’t as militaristic as the Germans or as xenophobic as the French. The Royal Navy sank the slave trade and the British Empire is remembered with a degree of affection everywhere it touched.

When it comes to patriotism, though, the standard response of the urban intellectual is the mocking sneer. This is true of many on the Right as well as the Left, but it’s the self-loathing of the left-wing intellectuals that irritates me most. These sniggering fools don't even know the roots of their own radicalism. For every Francis Drake in English history there was a Wat Tyler. For every Wellington there was a Captain Swing. Military achievement understandably shaped our self image. The stout Yeomen of England have been beating off invaders for centuries. We saw off Bonaparte and smashed the Spanish Armada. But England gave the world parliamentary democracy and the trade unions too.
Every child should learn the story of the Tolpuddle Martyrs, six farm labourers from Dorset, who founded the Friendly Society of Agricultural Labourers to fight wage cuts after their nine shillings (45p) a week wage was slashed to six shillings (30p). In March, 1984 these good, hard-working men were arrested for unlawful assembly and charged with ‘administering unlawful oaths.’ The six were found guilty as charged and sentenced to seven years transportation to the penal colony in New South Wales, Australia “not,” said the judge, “for anything they had done, but as an example to others.”

They were an example to others all right. The men became popular heroes and the inspiration for the new trade union movement.

Just over a century later, our belief in democracy, liberty and social justice made English-speaking civilization the rock that broke the tidal wave of continental fascism. Our openness, our belief in tolerance, free speech and the rights of man, was the living proof that the totalitarian state with its secret police, censorship and slave labour was neither “infallible” nor inevitable.

But these qualities that made us different are now increasingly under threat.

THE English are a strong-willed people, rightly proud of our traditions and freedoms. Keith Waterhouse wrote that our defining national characteristic is “constructive bloody-mindedness”, illustrated by the phrase “thus far and no further.” Many of us who love England, and see how carelessly our rulers have surrendered our liberties and sovereignty, while encouraging phony nationalism in Scotland and Wales, feel that we have reached the “thus far” point. I certainly do. Labour’s regionalization proposals pushed me over the edge. It was clear that the creation of elected regional assemblies in England were simply an attempt to break us up and destroy us – as Charles Kennedy said to “call into question the idea of England itself.”
I’m not a politician but in 2005 General Election I stood for the English Democrats in the Greenwich and Woolwich. Why? To help kick up a stink about the mess Labour’s devolution botch-job has made of democracy in the UK. I was campaigning, in short, for equality for the English. I’m not anti-Scottish. I merely demanded the right for the English to run our own country as the Scots do theirs (while pointing out that an English parliament wouldn’t mean a light if we remained under EU rules.) Inevitably, this was painted as an “extreme” cause. We had no money and little campaigning time, yet 1216 South Londoners took the time to turn out and vote for me. Not a great result (although we beat UKIP) but you have to fly your colours from the mast to get noticed. From little acorns the might oak of English liberty will grow. A year later a Daily Telegraph poll showed that 68 per cent of English voters backed the cause. That’s very nearly seven out of ten people, and subsequent polls have not produced a figure under 60 per cent. Compare that with the vote for the Scottish Parliament of 44% which was described as the "Settled Will of the Scottish People"; or with the 21% who voted for Tony Blair's Government at the last General Election….

Even without regionalisation, the English get a raw deal under the present set-up. Scottish citizens have £1,500 more per head spent on them than do their English counterparts. In England, the Government spend £6,762 per person a year (on health, education etc); in Scotland that figure is £8,265. The Scots get free dental and eye checks, free personal care for the elderly, and free central heating installation for pensioners. They get life-saving cancer drugs; their students pay no tuition fees, their school children have more than double the budget for school dinners and some Scottish children between the ages of four and seven get free school meals - with plans to extend that to children of all ages.

All that stuff, free, free, FREE! Except none of it is free, of course. We’re paying for it.

Why? Back in the 1970s Lord Barnett came up with his Barnett Formula, which divvied up the national cake unfairly. It was meant to apply for a short period, no more than two years, to kick start the Scottish economy. But thirty years on it remains in operation. Some Scots say it costs more to provide services in their rural areas. But England has rural areas too – Northumbria is just as under-populated as anywhere North of the Border. (North Sea Oil is no argument for the imbalance either because if we were separate countries, by international law England would have a claim to one third of the oil and most of the gas.) There is no coherent defence for why the Barnett Formula is still going; even Barnett himself says it now needs to be scrapped.

Successive Governments have kept it going simply to bribe the Scottish electorate not to vote for the SNP.
They bought them off for three decades. But finally English voters are waking up to the injustice. More and more of our people are asking: why do we put up with the Jocks spending so much of our money? Why should the English continue to fund better public services in the other nations of the UK?

To counter the new mood of English nationalism, our new unelected Prime Minister Gordon Brown has wrapped himself up in the Union Jack. “Britishness,” is Labour’s new mantra – ironic when you think Labour was responsible for breaking up Britain in the first place. And doubly so if you ever encountered a flag-hating 1980s Labourite, the kind who ended up as social workers, councillors, college lecturers and school teachers.

The response of left-wing teachers to Labour’s new red white and blue offensive was predictable. A survey published early in 2008 found that nine out of ten of these sandal-wearing weird-beards and their husbands opposed Gordon’s plans for the teaching of British history in schools. The Left-leaning Institute of Education suggested that patriotism should be covered as a “controversial issue.” Britain’s history was, they said, morally ambiguous. “Are countries really appropriate objects of love?” asked the report’s author Michael Hand. It would be funny – Brown hoist by his own petard – if these fools weren’t busily engaged in educating our kids to feel guilty about our past. Teaching Britishness, argued one, would encourage “BNP-type thinking.”

An alternative interpretation would be that patriotism is a natural, health emotion that only turns ugly when it’s suppressed…
And why incidentally are we urged to forgive Germany for invading Poland while we flagellate ourselves about the Opium Wars?

Strangely, Brown’s ‘Britishness’ lessons are only taught in English schools, not in Scotland or Wales. Having unleashed the beast of Scottish nationalism, Labour now seeks to blind us to its consequences.

But where do Gordon Brown’s true loyalties lie? He was one of the signatories of the Scottish Claim of Right which says ‘in all our actions and deliberations (the) interests (of the Scottish people) shall be PARAMONT.”

This was also signed and approved by Menzies Campbell, Alistair Darling, John Reid and George Galloway.

Is it a coincidence that Brown’s last act as Chancellor was to cut the English NHS building budget from £6.2 to £4.2 billion, while the Scots and Welsh budgets were left intact?

Brown’s Britishness offensive is a con-trick designed to distract us from the inequalities and injustices created by Labour’s wonky devolution strategy. Tam Dalyell called it the West Lothian question. The left-wing Scot asked “For how long will English constituencies and English Honourable members tolerate... at least 119 Honourable Members from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland exercising an important, and probably often decisive, effect on British politics while they themselves have no say in the same matters in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?" It’s a good question, for which the Government has no answer.

Gordon Brown, who represents a Scottish constituency, is imposing Labour policies on English voters, with the help of the votes of Scottish MPs. And he is doing it in areas where he has no authority to make law in Scotland.
How can that be right? Why should Scottish MPs have a vote on purely English matters while England’s MPs can’t discuss Scotland?

The English put up with a lot (too much, frankly), but there is a limit to how long the people of the UK’s biggest and richest country will suffer being treated like second class citizens.

So many issues are now devolved in Scotland and Wales that we can’t talk about British education, transport or health policy any more. The current arrangement is unfair to English voters. Scotland and Wales have their own Parliament and Assembly but they are still over-represented in the House of Commons. Scottish and Welsh MPs preside over English matters. English MPs have no reciprocal right. As we’ve seen, the Barnett formula gives about one third extra spending to Scotland for EQUAL need. This set-up is completely out of kilter, and the only constitutionally workable solution is the creation of an English parliament.

An English Parliament would ensure that legislation affecting England was proposed and implemented by MPs accountable to the English electorate.

It would allow for proper parliamentary time to be allotted for the debate of English matters and scrutiny of English legislation. It would kick the West Lothian Question into touch.

An English parliament would ensure that ministers were directly politically accountable to the constituency that their department serves. It is wrong that Scottish constituency MPs are given English portfolios, like Douglas Alexander at English Transport last heard trying to impose an England-only road pricing scheme (which was ‘accidentally’ reported by the BBC as if it were a UK-wide issue.)

An English parliament would create a more inclusive, civic sense of English identity and national purpose. An English parliament would give England political leadership. Scotland has a first minister, England does not. Why then should Gordon Brown become in effect first minister of England? Gordon Brown has no democratic mandate on important matters such as Education, Health and Transport – his constituents in Scotland don't elect him to represent them in these areas, and neither does any voter in England. An English parliament would kill off Labour’s plans for unwanted regional assemblies in England.
And it’s the only long-term hope of preserving the United Kingdom, which, to exist at all must be independent of the European Union.

Our future doesn’t lie in Europe, to being over-regulated and bossed about by petty-minded Continental bureaucrats. Let’s fight for an independent England shaping its own destiny and trading with whoever we please as part once again of a greater anglosphere of English speaking peoples dedicated to freedom, liberty and enterprise.

When he was sentenced in 1834, Tolpuddle Martyr George Loveless wrote: ‘God is our guide, from field, from wave, from plough, from anvil and from loom; we come our country’s rights to save, and speak a tyrant faction’s doom. We raise the watch-word liberty; we will, we will, we will be free!’

Now is the time to echo those words and fight to win back the freedoms we have lost. Once again lets us raise the watch-word, liberty.

We will, we will, we will be free.

BACK in the early 1990s I asked why our television networks never celebrated St George’s Day. The response was phenomenal, and overwhelmingly supportive, although Kelvin MacKenzie thought at the time that I was being “extreme”. But as an Englishman I don’t hate other nationalities. I just wish to preserve and build on my heritage.

In 1996, I dedicated one of my ITV shows to St George’s Day; Chas and Dave played in my back room, and I delivered various bits to camera. Again the public response was positive. On two separate occasions cab drivers refused to take any money from me, and strangers started buying me drinks in pubs. That same year, Euro ’96 reflected this new mood of English patriotism. The terraces were awash with the flag of St George. Thirty years before, as England won the World Cup, all you saw were Union flags. Now the English had adopted a new symbol, and this demand for something of ours was coming from the grass roots up.

I carried on asking why TV did nothing for St Geo, especially when the BBC regions never forget St David’s Day or Burns Night. Finally, in response, in 2000, BBC2 decided to debate Englishness; and although they did it in a typically condescending and sneering way it was a start. In 2001, Channel 5 devoted an evening to English films. BBC1 remained reluctant though. Their top-rated show, EastEnders, had managed to hold parties for St Patrick’s Day, American Independence Day and even for the Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights, without ever mentioning England’s patron saint. I invited readers to place bets on what foreign country would get the Queen Vic seal of approval next. Possibly I suggested a knees-up for migrant Albanian peasants loyal to the memory of Enver Hoxha to drink to the golden days of tractors and austerity before the fall of Communism.

In the real world, the day was increasingly celebrated not just in genuine East End pubs but all over the country, with breweries getting in on the fun. The situation was becoming so absurd that even Ally Ross, The Sun’s England-hating columnist, picked up on it. And eventually in 2005, Alfie Moon finally had a St George’s Day “Russell Harty” in the Vic, if only to shut us up.

That same year, Red Ken Livingstone, who’d been happily donating huge chunks of public money to St Patrick’s Day celebration organisers for years, hastily endorsed some feeble St George's day events to take the steam out of a planned mass walk on the GLA. And I organised a Variety Festival of England which was screened on April 23rd by the satellite channel Sound TV. This took place at the Queen’s Hotel, Blackpool, with the great Yorkshire funnyman Johnnie Casson topping the bill and guest appearances from Richard Digance and Bobby Ball. Punters queued round the block and we had to turn a third of them away. The night ended with the 500 strong capacity crowd enjoying a mass sing-song of patriotic songs led by club singer Joe Wildey, an immaculately tailored Irishman who could see nothing wrong with the English having one day a year when we can celebrate our identity with good-humour as other peoples do. It took me back to my own childhood when we’d always have St George’s Day parties at Charlton social clubs, with women wearing red roses on their lapels.
The following year, we doubled the size of the venue. Nearly 900 turned up for a rock and variety show at the Circus Tavern (home of darts) in Essex. The bill, which I put together, was a schizophrenic mix of acts ranging from Brian Conley to the Cockney Rejects, via Right Said Fred, Rick Wakeman, the Artful Dodger and Neville Staple. Mad but exhilarating...

By now people from all over the country were contacting me with their own St George’s Day events; the most impressive was an unofficial motorised parade organised by the 1066 Motorcycle Club in Solihull. While the Stone Cross St George Association (just outside of West Bromwich, West Midlands) assembled the largest St George’s Day parade in England.
In 2007, I had my English party on TalkSport radio and the switchboard was jammed by appreciative callers. The only exception was a surly Scot who believed that being English was in itself “racist”. He wasn’t best pleased to be reminded that the Ku Klux Klan had been kreated by Sweaty Socks.

This year – 2008 – I know of four major St George’s Day bashes already, including a punk and ska night in The Garage, in North London.

More and more bands are bringing out patriotic anthems. West Country folk band Show of Hands released Roots (See the full video on YouTube by clicking http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5h4PFBuzvw) which included the lyrics: ‘I’ve lost St George in the Union Jack, it’s my flag too and I want it back’. While Sarah Vezmar is releasing the haunting anthem ‘England My Land’ on i-tunes. English clothing companies are sprouting up everywhere, none as stylish as Longshanks, a company founded by various West Ham herberts who made their money on the 1980s wave scene.

The message is clear: the Market is there. And St George’s Day can become a major event if everyday English people want it.

It really is up to us to make a stand for England's green and pleasant land. We can't rely on British TV to mark England’s day. Old Albion is too tarnished with the 'guilt' of empire for the usual suspects (Lefty intellectuals, Tory euro-traitors) to endorse. We can’t rely on local councils, either. In half the country you can’t even get a pub extension. And we certainly can’t expect Red Ken’s approval.

We don’t need any of them. They’re the freaks. Being patriotic is normal and healthy; hating your own country is perverse. So what can we do?

Take St George’s Day off for a start. If enough people treat the day as a national holiday, eventually they will have to make it official.

Bombard radio and TV stations (especially BBC ones) with letters and petitions calling for English theme nights to mark our special day.

And SWITCH OFF any channel that doesn't include English programming this and every April 23rd. But just as importantly, celebrate St George's Day yourself. If you can't get to one of the big gigs, organise your own in your street, your pub or your social club. Get together with people who feel the same way as you and get something going.

It's time for the English to wake up and reclaim their birthrights. As Shelley wrote (and the Gonads set to music): "Men of England, rise like lions from your slumber, in unvanquishable number; shake to earth your chains like dew, that in your sleep has fallen upon you. We are many. They are few."

From 'The World According to Garry Bushell'

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TO be born English is to have won first prize in the lottery of life. To be English is to be part of the world's richest culture. From this sceptred isle sprang talents as diverse as Orwell and Chaplin, Kipling and Shakespeare, Nelson and Joe Strummer. In every field, in every era, the evidence of English greatness is there for all to see, from the enduring genius of Elgar to the magic of Michael Owen's goal against Argentina. As Ian Dury once sang: “There are jewels in the crown of England's glory, too numerous to mention, but a few.” OK, not many of us know more than the first two lines of There'll Always Be An England, but we do know that our country gave the world football, cricket, rugby, tennis, the Beatles and Dickens. As a people we are not given to chest beating. Reserve and restraint are as much English qualities as inventiveness and enterprise. But we do resent the way Englishness is put down at by the chattering classes. For them, the cross of St George is tainted by memories of empire (even though the Royal Navy smashed the slave trade). It has been like this for decades.
What does England mean to you?

My England is bubble and squeak and foaming pints of Boddingtons. It is Les Dawson and Barbara Windsor, Max Miller and Page Three. My England is pie and mash and Aston Martins, Derby day and Arfur Daley, Mods and Rockers, Skinheads and Suedeheads, Lennie McLean and Carry On films. My England stretches from Dennis Skinner to Roger Scruton, from Peggy Mount to Beki Bondage, from Constable to the Bryant & May match-girls' strike. It's Blackpool beach, Ray Davies, Charlie
Drake, Charlton Athletic FC, Casuals, roast beef, imperial measurements and vindaloo. It's defiance.

Whether your England is summed up by a bowler hat or a pit helmet, punk rock or Morris dancers, there are few national tapestries as rich as ours. And of course it is a national disgrace that TV gives St George a blank. But what do they know? How often do they get anything right? If you are English turn off the TV on April 23rd and get down the pub, preferably in a fine Longshanks shirt. As Chesterton wrote: "St George he was for England and before he slew the dragon, he drank a pint of English ale out of an English flagon.” Enjoy yourself this St. George's Day. And remember, there will always be an England.

(St George’s Day speech, 2001)


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The Top Ten Modern English Anthems
1) England Belongs To Me – Cock Sparrer 2) England My Land – Sarah Vezmar 3) The Power & The Glory – the Cockney Rejects 4) England’s Glory – Kilburn & The High-Roads 5) Roots –Show of Hands 6) Waterloo Sunset – The Kinks 7) World In Motion – New Order. 8) (What’s The Story?) England’s Glory – The Gonads 9) Hurry Up England – Motty’s Sheepskins 10) England – the Angelic Upstarts

And now... let's talk about... BENNY HILL


DROP THE CELEBRITY

Freddie Starr threw knives at me. Noel Edmonds dragged up as Teri Hatcher to “gotcha” me – a memory that is far more mentally scarring.

But the only time I was ever genuinely terrified on a TV show was when I signed up for ITV’s Drop The Celebrity. Well I say signed up. Essentially I was conned into it. My agent Tony Clayman – terrible man, looks like Penfold in Dangermouse – just rang up and asked: “How do you fancy a big jump with Linda Lusardi?” I had no idea what kind of ordeal I was letting myself in for.

Drop The Celebrity turned out to be Disaster cunningly disguised as Opportunity. “It’s prime time Saturday night ITV,” said Clayman. “What could go wrong? Sign up and suck the cheque.” What could go wrong indeed! How about everything?
If they don’t like you on Big Brother, you get sent home. We were getting slung out off a Hercules at 12,000 feet.
There were six of us: me, Lusardi, Cheryl Baker, Bobby Davro, Lady Victoria Harvey and Ricardo from C4’s The Salon – so five minor celebs and a hair-dresser. We were taken to a West Country airline hanger and briefed by a parachute crew. We would exit the plane, they said, strapped to an expert, plummeting towards the earth at 120mph. Gulp. That’s faster than Clarkson in a temper.

I didn’t like the sound of that. Nor the fact that in word association “plummet” always seems inextricably linked to “splat”.
All we had to remember was to raise our knees for impact. Sounded fine. In theory. But the reality was far worse. For starters, the flight was loud and cramped, and there was no food – so it was just like flying easyjet. And there was none of that Mile High club stuff going on either (though Lusardi did ask). The tight sods didn’t even come round with the drinks trolley.

When the tailgate went down for the first eviction all we could see was light streaming in – just like the moment before the aliens come on the TV sci-fi show Taken. At that point there wasn’t one of us whose years didn’t flash before our eyes.
I was convinced I had all the life expectancy of a turkey on Christmas Eve. The only way it could have been scarier was if ITV had booked Maureen Rees to fly the plane. To cap it all Cheryl forget to raise her knees and broke her ankle.
This show made I’m A Celebrity look like Wish You Were Here. And the only thing that dropped faster than we did was ITV’s viewing figures. It was a ratings disaster.

What did we go through? Clouds, mostly. Why did we do it? Fun, money, exposure, charity – people had different reasons. Our job apart from jumping was to convince the voting crowd below which of us was the biggest celebrity. And this was where Lusardi came into her own, shamelessly name-dropping people she’d never even met as best mates. Had host Mark Durbrain-Smith asked any tough questions, the whole rich stitching of her fake life would have unraveled like a love-rat politician’s alibi. But alas he didn’t. And so although I made the final three, Linda Lusardi beat me (four words I like to savor). Yes gentle reader, I wuz robbed. LWT’s sour-faced warm-up man pleaded with the crowd to boot me off, where’s the justice? And the votes were clearly counted in Florida. But the jump was exhilarating. What an experience. As soon as I’d finished I wanted to do it again (insert your own Lusardi joke here).

LWT wanted to raise serious “post-modern” points about the nature of celebrity too, and in a roundabout way they did. Fame, once a by-product of talent, has now become an end in itself. Ricardo claimed he was “born a celebrity”. He cut hair on The Salon! No wonder he was the first out. The guy was lost in showbiz without ever being in it. Our throw-away culture has produced a glut of people who are recognizable but talent-free. We put everyday folk in a house and complain when they don’t entertain us. We create instant pop groups who have one manufactured hit and vanish. In our hearts we know they’re a poor substitute for the real thing.

Modern celebrity may be about being seen in the right places and dropping the right names. But that’s not proper stardom.
One Paul O’Grady is worth fifty Ricardos, One Brucie is worth a hundred Davinas, and one Dolly Parton equals a thousand Victoria Beckhams.

* After the show I got a phone call of commiseration from Frank Carson: “It could have been worse,” he said. “In the Irish version the pilot got voted off first.”




VINDALOONY

I worked for the Sun on and off for 16 years. I’d like to think some of my articles had merit. I opposed the EU for example, backed the Smithfield meat porters in their fight to keep their market open, and I campaigned for the UDR Four. So why is it that nine out of ten Sun readers who stop me in the street ask the same question: Oi, Gal, how hot was that curry you had to eat?

The year was 1993, and Abdul Latif, Viz comic’s favourite restaurateur, had just added a new dish to the menu of his renowned Rupali restaurant in Newcastle: The Curry Hell.
“Clear your plate,” he’d promised, “and you eat for free.”

The Sun ran the story and Kelvin MacKenzie, then the paper’s Editor, had a brainwave. “’Ere, Bushell” he said. “You like a ruby. Get your arse up to Geordieland and polish off one of these ****ing things. Show them ****ing Northern shirt-lifters what Londoners are made of.”

And of course I responded in the only way any self-respecting person ever did to the mouthy Millwall-supporting incubus. I rose to my feet, looked him straight in the eye and defiantly muttered the words: “Yes, boss.”
It didn’t sound like much of a challenge. I prided myself on my cast-iron guts. I’d eaten curries from Dehli to Dagenham. Vindaloos, Tindaloos and Phals. My favourite Spice Girl was Madhur Jaffrey. I’d even survived the legendary Wrath of Khan that they served with a topping of malicious chilli peppers in Margate - and eaten the left-overs for breakfast.
But nothing prepared me for The Curry Hell.

The ingredients were secret but chef Abdul confided that they included five tablespoons of the hottest chilli powder known to man. The rest of it was probably sulphuric acid.
“Twenty-five people have tried this dish since the Sun wrote about it,” he told me. “Only two of them managed it. I haven’t seen them since.”

I stayed poker-faced. The man was obviously trying to psych me out. I decided to ignore him. But I couldn’t ignore the audience. The place was packed out with readers of the Currant Bun all keen to witness my do-or-die attempt.
None of them were eating the Curry Hell. I downed a couple of pre-match lagers, chose a table close to the khazi and prayed. Not hard enough. The curry was so hot you could hear it coming. My confidence started to wobble. It dissolved entirely as soon as I took a Ghandi at the dish. The food was the colour of molten tar. Same texture too. It looked evil. I’d swear it had a pulse. And it smelt like something you’d scoop out of a cesspit.

“Are you sure about this, Mr Garry?” asked Abdul. Yes, I nodded. Show no fear. Nan but the brave…
I pushed in my fork, not entirely convinced it would come out again in one piece, and took a bite. It was like French-kissing a flame-thrower. After three forkfuls, my eyes started to water. My nose stung. Five mouthfuls in, my face was as red as Fergie’s freckles. Sweat poured freely. There were, and I apologise in advance for this, tears on my pilau.
“Nice?” asked my tormentor. Blinding, I replied. Every eye in the restaurant was on me. I ate some more. Now my mouth, lips and tongue were ablaze. This must be what they serve up in Hades to people Old Nick doesn’t like. My throat felt like someone was strangling it from the inside. “Would you like another lager?” asked Abdul. “Just pass the fire extinguisher,” I said. I was not sitting comfortably.

After ten more forkfuls my mouth was numb and I was convinced the muck had scorched the lining off my tongue. It would cost me £6.50 if I didn’t finish it. Just £6.50? I would have paid £65 just to end the pain. What was at stake? Only my job and my reputation. I’d have a life-time of scorn from MacKenzie, but was it that big a deal? I was too young to die.
“After a few spoonfuls people change language,” said Abdul.
“A*%$***!” I replied.
“I hope you’re praying to the right God,” smirked Abdul who seemed to be turning red and sprouting horns.
I muttered the magic words “Salman Rushdie” under my breath and offered him a forkful.
“Get that ruddy stuff away from me,” he said. I knew how he felt. At that moment I hated him. He was a genius. He could make a mint marketing meals for masochists. I was feeling more drained than Jim Davidson’s best man. But I knew victory could be had – as long as I had the will. And a side-dish of chilled Savlon.
“I hope you’re not intending to get into bed with your wife tonight,” Abdul quipped.

I’m not a racist person but right then I would cheerfully have booted him back to Bangladesh. The only thing getting shagged tonight was my insides. His poison, having torched my throat, had now started to burn holes through the lining of my stomach. But there were just five mouthfuls left. Just five. I was sweating like Heather Mills on a lie detector. Slowly, surely, I cleared the plate. I’d done it. I’d won. With a smile plastered on my face, I backed out of the Rupali, waved gleefully and then dashed off to stick my head in the Tyne.

My triumph was short-lived. On my three hour rail journey back to London, I spent two and a half hours out of my seat. I prayed the train didn’t stock Izel. This time my prayers were answered. Abdul hadn’t told me the Curry Hell is ten times hotter on the way out… If anyone had struck a match in that cubicle after I’d left the consequences would have been devastating. The pleasure of achievement was off-set by the agony of the experience. Abdul’s dish was vinda-lousy. It was like eating a distress flare. You’d need a cast-iron stomach and an asbestos palate to even contemplate it. But Abdul had swelled with pride when I told him it was the hottest curry in the country, if not the world. “Yes,” he beamed. “It’s not just hell, it’s bloody Hell.” Did he eat it himself? I asked. “You’re joking,” he said. “I’d rather have fish and chips.”

* Scientists say that eating curry improves the memory. Really? If that’s the case, how come when you get the bill in an Indian restaurant someone always says: “I don’t remember ordering that…”?


FRANKENWAY

ON stage, the creature stirs. Arms out-stretched, it stumbles forward; lurching, lumbering… It looks human, but isn’t. It’s life, but not as we know it. It’s…. “FRANKENWAY!” shrieks Andy Parker.

“I noticed it early on in the tour,” Andy reveals. “Pete started to walk towards Vinnie. He had his arms out to give him a hug, but the way he staggered made him look just like Frankenstein’s monster. It’s the same very night. He becomes Frankenway.” Phil Mogg gives an instant impression, supplying the voice of the monster: “Wine,” he grunts. “Wine, good…give me wine!”

“Vinnie’s not too happy about it,” Phil continues. “Can you blame him? Who’d want those slobbering lips and that sweat all over you?”

Of course, the real resurrected corpse is the band themselves: UFO, the legendary monsters of rock, back from the grave and confounding their critics with a tour that’s played to pilchard-packed houses all over Europe. With their new album The Monkey Puzzle and re-found tightness on stage, it’s as if this band has never been away. You have to look real close to see the surgeon’s stitches.

Problem one: Pete Way’s bladder. “Pete can’t do a full set now without having a pee,” reveals Andy. “He has to leave the stage three or four times a night to relieve himself. Andre, the bass tech, holds the cup. He is the Guardian of the Golden Goblets…”

Problem two: Pete Way’s trousers. He only took one pair of ancient stage strides on tour, and they were a 31-inch waist…

“At Newcastle, he was lying on the floor during ‘Rock Bottom’ and they split,” confides Andy. “He was wearing nothing under them, so the audience saw rather more of Pete than they expected.” The next day, Pete asked his lovely American missus Rashida (wife number five) to fix them.

“She suggested he’d be better off getting down the gym,” Andy laughs. “So they had a row and the trousers weren’t repaired. The next night he was still wearing them. Of course they kept sliding down. Phil and Andre were taking turns to pull ‘em up on stage. He was showing so much butt crack Paul Raymond was keeping a guitar pick in there.”

I stumble in on the next act of this on-going farce at London’s St Giles Hotel. Rashida had just been out and bought Pete new stripy black and white stage trousers at the bargain price of £50 reduced from £100.

The colour drains from Way’s face. “Don’t spend any more money,” he tells her strictly. But she does, returning shortly with a matching red and black pair. Pete moans like a wounded ox.

“He is the tightest man in rock ‘n’ roll,” says Phil later. “He’ll wear those trousers till they fall off. If you see him buy a round tonight, you should take pictures.”

Pete Way and sobriety are words that sit together like Ted Nugent and veggie-burgers, of course. But the Moggster runs him a close second.

Phil has a new nickname, Captain Schnapps, due to his new-found fondness for the tipple. Pre-tour, he missed three rehearsal days through schnapps hangovers. On tour, it seems to have fuelled his aggression.

“He’s taken up arm-wrestling,” Pete reveals. “He keeps losing to Oscar the pirate, our guitar tech. We were in a hotel in Germany and Phil was challenging everyone in the bar, going up to Thai businessmen saying ‘You’re next’.”

In London, a double-decker clipped the back end of their tour bus, bringing the West End traffic to a stand-still.

“This posh guy came up and started berating our road crew,” says Pete. “Because they’re German, he was talking down to them. All of a sudden, Phil roars up from the back of the bus going: ‘Shut your effin’ mouth’… That was my cue to depart…”

Tonight the band nearly doesn’t get in to the gig.

“Where’s yer pass?” growls a bouncer.

“Here it is,” retorts Mogg, waving his fist at the big gorilla. “Here’s my backstage pass…”

Tonio, the band’s hyper-efficient Teutonic tour manager, groans as he rushes forward to placate him. “Phil’s been slung out of two clubs already this tour for doing zat,” he reveals.

Ah UFO. It’s been a quarter of a century since I was last on the road with them and nothing seems to have changed. Not even Paul Raymond’s hair, which remains as magically jet-black as it was on the Lights Out album.

November 29th, 2006 and the London Astoria is as packed as Phil’s leather pants. (Token semi-gay reference to recall the charmless ghost of Ross Halfin). It’s just another full-to-capacity venue on a sold-out Euro-tour.

On stage, they deliver like men half their age, which I’m guessing would be 35 – 40. It’s only the sweet smell of vomit in the wings that reminds you that things have come a way down-hill from their stadium-playing 1970s glory days…

In those days, UFO was a by-word for rock’n’roll excess.

Some bands employ PR-weasels to drum up outrageous tour stories. UFO never had to. Sitting in the bar, we talk about then and now.

“The initial success was breath-taking,” says Phil. “I remember being driven down Sunset and seeing a huge UFO poster on a billboard. Hollywood. Wow! We’d arrived.

“You’d get girls knocking at your door every night, saying ‘Hello my name’s Lisa’ or whatever, and you’d end up saying ‘Go away’. She’d say ‘But you haven’t seen me yet’, and she’d be beautiful, but they were all stunners. And you’d be saying ‘I don’t wanna see ya, I just wanna sleep.’

“It was non-stop and we were like kids in a candy store. We’d gone to the Marquee to that and it was full-on. That was 1976.”

Andy: “I remember walking into Phil’s hotel room in California and there was a girl bouncing around on top of him, singing ‘Doctor Doctor’ at the top of her voice…she had quite a nice rhythm going, you notice these things as a drummer.”

Shouldn’t it have been ‘Shoot Shoot’?

Phil: “There’s a better Schenker story. We caught Michael lying naked on his bed with a cute girl from the gig on top of him, pumping iron so to speak, and he’s got a cigarette and a pint of beer going, and he’s listening to that night’s show on a battered old cassette player.”

Andy: “She’s screwing him and he’s calling up the tour manager saying, ‘John tonight we used too much echo…’ Classic.

Phil: “We asked him about it afterwards, and he said: ‘For me the woman must do everything.’”

Those days are behind Phil now. He married long-time Emma, a former Page Three girl, in Greta Green this year (he tells me it was last month; turns out it was the summer).

Way refuses to even discuss stories of the previous sister(s)-in-law he seduced, muttering darkly: “Divorces and houses, you know about that.”

They still get their share of babes in the audience of course but these tend now to be the daughters of UFO fans (two of Steve ‘Harry’ Harris’s, and his son, are here tonight).

Pete, now 55, is more forthcoming on the subject of drugs. “I’m clean of heroin,” he says, adding. “It got to the stage where couldn’t get any more in cos all my veins collapsed, it wasn’t very nice.”

He rolls up his trousers to show off the scars on his calves. “Shrapnel, Korea,” laughs Mogg.

In August Pete had an operation to remove “all the dodgy veins,” he says. “I’d been injecting for seven or eight years. But I stopped cos I couldn’t get any more in and methadone is boring.”

The death of his fourth wife, Jo, an American doctor who shared his habit, six years ago, had a cathartic effect on Pete.

“I thought, what’s the point anyway? You can’t play properly; you can’t live your life properly.”

Back in the seventies, cocaine was the band’s drug of choice. Phil recalls a gruelling tour when they had been in need of pharmaceutical stimulation. A dealer was called. “We expected him to turn up with a bag,” says Phil. “He arrived with a suitcase half full of it. Of course none of us thought of saving any. We got to the gig and I was rigid.”

The Spinal Tap scene, where the band get lost back-stage, was based on them

“It was a stadium gig at St Louis,” recalls Andy. “Backstage was a maze of tunnels and we were really fucked up, it took us 20 minutes to find the stage.”

Rock legend has it that the band blew their takings for a whole US tour by missing their tour bus due to excess partying and having to hire jets to get to the next show.

“Not true,” says Phil. “We never hired a jet. A small plane on a couple of occasions.”

Andy recalls one such flight. Air turbulence was so bad that he, Pete and Phil thought they were goners.

“It was like an invisible giant was throwing it about. All three of us said as one, ‘Where’s the fucking Courvoisier?’ That’s called fear…Pete threw up into a bag and then gave it to the pilot, he didn’t know what else to do with it.”

Schenker of course excelled. “One night he started wrecking his hotel room,” recalls Phil. “He was kicking holes in wall, the manager tried to calm him down but Michael wouldn’t have it. He kept squirting him in face with his water pistol; in the end security just grabbed him and marched him out.

“He was always a little strange. When he moved to Palmers Green in ’74, he stole the next door neighbours’ rabbit. I remember him telling me, ‘I have stolen the rabbit, I have him in my flat, he is shitting everywhere.’ He’d got over the fence, nicked it to fatten it up and eat, and the place was covered in rabbit crap.”

By those standards, today’s older wiser UFO seems almost tame. Highlights of this tour include Pete’s puppet shows with a toy squirrel (“Little Vinnie”) purloined from a restaurant in France, and the auctioning of Vinnie’s signed but unwashed underpants for 2,000 Czech koruna.

The audience is older too. Phil enthuses about the sea of bald heads at Nottingham.

Mogg, who will be sixty in 2008, insists he has cut down on booze.

“I can’t drink wine any more,” he says. “I can’t drink spirits; the only thing I’m allowed is beer occasionally.”

But he tells me this after he’s just drunk the best part of a bottle of Cava in front of me, and he doesn’t mention that beer is his breakfast drink.

Pete is on the wine. Even in concert. Andy says: “Andre tunes Pete’s bass with one hand and fills his wine glass with the other.”

“I don’t why he bothers giving him wine on stage,” says Phil. “He should just hand his cup of pee back to him, he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference…”

Pete insists he’s “just a casual drinker”; a use of the word experts might find puzzling. Presumably in the same way as Torquemada was a casual inquisitor. “Our bar bill is only about £80 a day,” he says.

“Pah!” Phil explodes. “I buy rounds, you don’t open that fucking wallet…if you see that wallet open tonight, Garry, send me a letter.”

Andy: “He hasn’t got a wallet; he carries round a collection of crap in a bag.”

(In fairness to Pete, he did buy me a drink. No hold on, I was standing next to his daughters when Rashida bought them one on Pete’s credit card and I got in on the round. Picture his face when the bill comes through).

“Pete has to drink,” says Andy Parker. “He’s done a deal with the devil and the alcohol keeps him young. If he ever stopped the years would all come back and he’s age and wither before our eyes like that scene in Star Trek.”

But then he adds: “Pete’s the best I’ve seen him, he’s naturally a sweet person.

The band seems happier now. In the 80s, they always seemed to be feuding. No-one ties kippers to car exhausts any more, as they once did to Andy’s hire care. The words ‘No neck’ aren’t mentioned. These days the stick is gentler.

Paul Raymond is known as Paul Sparrow because of his Johnny Depp style eye-liner (no-one was surprised when he accidentally walked through customs on Emma’s passport.) While Pete is…

“We call him Toxic Way,” says Phil. “He’s given all of us a virus and never got ill himself. He’s just a carrier, he’s Typhoid Mary…we’re suffering from Way-diation…it’s like a spell that comes over you.”

Only once this tour has Phil wound up Pete enough to retaliate and “kick him in the broach and ear-rings” on stage.

They bicker like an old married couple. Phil calls Pete’s new strides “an unusual choice for an elderly gentleman”, adding: “How many men your age wear stripped trousers?”

“I wear ‘em to annoy you,” Pete retorts.

At times, Phil seems as curmudgeonly as a club room full of Colonels. He confesses to having “ripped the head off” his computer before the tour. He hates pre-tuned radios and i-pods. “I don’t download,” he says with pride.

But there’s always a twinkle of mischief in his eye. Only he could anticipate the meeting of Pete’s first and fifth wives at the Astoria and hope for fireworks.

Mogg loves Seinfeld, and has become obsessed with Catherine Tate, and the Simpsons which he’s only just discovered.

“I love the bit where Homer watches the food in the microwave and says: ‘Oh, too slow.’ Like Pete Way on the bass, too slow…”

“I don’t think so,” says Pete, retaliating: “You know he doesn’t know all of his words…”

Phil: “Ah but I can make it up as I go along, it’s poetic licence. The great thing about us is every night’s different, it’s not a rehearsed act, you don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Pete recalls a story from the Misdemeanour album. Phil hadn’t finished writing the lyrics so they sent him to the garden with a pen and paper. Later, they returned to see how he was getting on. Mogg had vanished, but the paper was still there. On it were the words ‘Buy Special Brew’. He’d made a shopping list…

The tour ended in Athens on December 3rd. Next February, they hit Scandinavia and then Russia.

“We’re working, it’s our new thing,” says Pete. “We’re gonna play more regularly.”

Andy Parker’s return has made a big difference to their live sound. They’re tight. As tight as Pete at a pay bar.

The tour has not been without incident - Pete twisted his knee in Newcastle; he fell off the drum riser but didn’t miss a note. And they needed a police escort at Bristol, when a wheel came off their trailer. But they’re not getting busted any more.

Pete’s possession charge kept him off the last US tour. Cops in Kentucky found two needles in his bag. That’s been dismissed and he’s knocked smack on the head so new Stateside gigs are on the cards.

(Phil only ever got cautioned in the US for mooning on stage at Lubbock, Texas)

“Our message to the kids of today us don’t do drugs,” says Phil before the show. “It’s no direction to go in…Pete Doherty I find very punchable…OK, he takes drugs, but what has he ever written?

“I dragged out my old Jimi Hendrix albums the other day. They’re still amazing. Old Led Zep…wow, these guys rock!”

I notice that Phil has not got changed for the stage.

“I’m in my stage gear all day long these days,” he explains. “I don’t have to change. I am as I am and I’ll wear what I want when I want.

“l just walk on with what I’ve got on, this is an honest off the street gig.

“I’m not dressing up, this is what I am! I came here to rock!”

The next time I see him he’s up on stage, complaining that there’s no Red Stripe…

© Garry Bushell, December 2006


THE STORY OF OI!

“We stand for punk as bootboy music. Oi! is working class, and if you’re not working class you’ll get a kick in the bollocks.” – Stinky Turner, 1980.

Loud, raw and violent, Oi-Oi is the musical battle cry of the skinheads, and like them it pulls no punches.” News Of The World, 1981.

Oi expresses an us-against-the-world attitude, it’s the continuation of the tradition which has its roots in the Teddy Boys of the 1950s.” – Simon Frith, sociology lecturer at Warwick University, 1981.

This generation won’t keep quiet/Work, work, work - or RIOT!” – The Business, Work Or Riot, 1981

All you kids, black and white/Together we are dynamite” – Angelic Upstarts, Kids On The Street, 1981.

Oi! is working class, and anything that is part of, and comes from, the working class has got to be mostly good.” – Mick O’Farrell, Red Action, 1981.

Wankers had out leaflets/They never ever let it be/I don’t care what they say/But they better not come near me….” –Cockney Rejects, Fighting In The Streets, 1979

"They always put the blame on us/And they tell the public lies/But that don’t mean that we have lost/Cos our spirit never dies..” –East End Badoes, The Way It’s Gotta Be, 1982

"What we want’s the right to work/Give us jobs not jails/Don’t throw us on the scrapheap because your system fails.” –The Gonads, Jobs Not Jails, 1980

"45 Revolutions on my stereo, not one revolution on the streets .” – Blitz, 45 Revolutions, 1981

“The voice of Oi is unity/No 'them and us' just you and me/Think how strong we could be/United against society'” – Garry Johnson, United, 1981


LET’S hear it for Oi! - the most exciting, despised and misunderstood youth movement of all time.

After 21 years (this piece was written in 2001) we’re still winding up the mugs.

Back in 1981, Oi! managed to outrage all shades of polite middle class opinion, right, left and centre.

To this day the hippy Left perceive Oi as a kind of cultural cancer. To the establishment, Oi was an upstart from a tower block slum who wouldn’t keep in line. He was raucous and obnoxious, a human hand-grenade with a menacing disregard for authority.

At best, Oi bands and their fans were viewed as gurning barbarians gleefully pissing in the coffee house latte. At worst, they were seen as modern day brown shirts responsible for the riots in Southall, Toxteth and the rest. Either way, Oi was too hot to handle.

To the fast-talking wide-boys who adopted its name however, Oi was something else entirely. Stripped down to basics, it was about being young, working class and not taking shit from anybody. It was anti-police, anti-authority but pro-Britain too. A lot of the Oi kids liked a fight, and yeah, this is no whitewash, there was a far right element among them but this was 1980 when the far right were polling 15 – 20 per cent of the vote in inner-city wards. It would have been a miracle if there hadn’t been NF sympathisers in the audiences. What matters is 1) Oi never suffered from Nazi violence the way Sham 69 and 2-Tone had; the ag that blemished those early Oi! gigs was strictly football related. 2) Oi's legacy is a world-wide street-punk movement which is vocally pro-working class and against racism, unemployment, state bureaucracy and repression.

Discovered in the summer of ’81 (well into its second wind) by a mass media rocked to its foundations by weeks of riots and youthful insurrection, Oi found itself on the sharp end of the sort of tabloid crucifixion usually reserved for the more macabre mass murderers. Corrupting its meaning, the same media immediately tried to bury it. Inevitably their version of events was as watertight as a kitchen colander in a tropical monsoon. They said Oi was for skinheads (but it was always more than that), that all skins were Nazis (and only a minority ever were) and that therefore Oi was the Strasser brothers in steel-capped boots (but the bands were either socialists or cynics…)

To really understand Oi, you had to be there….

Oi’s roots were in Punk, just as Punk’s roots were in the New York Dolls, but they weren’t the same animal. For starters Oi was the reality of Punk and Sham mythology. Punk exploded between 1976 and 1979 because stadium rock had been disappearing up its own jacksie for years. The album charts were full of po-faced synthesizer twiddlers and pretentious singers belting out meaningless pseudo-poetic lyrics.

Punk seemed different. It was raw, brutal and utterly down to earth. Punk sold itself as the voice of the tower blocks. It wasn’t. Most of the forerunners were middle-class art students. The great Joe Strummer, whose dad was a diplomat, flirted with stale old Stalinism and sang about white riots while living in a white mansion. Malcolm McLaren and Vivienne Westwood tried to intellectualise punk by dressing it up in half-inched Situationist ideas, all the better to flog their over-priced produce to mug punters.

Sham 69, from Surrey, were the first band to capture the growing mood of disillusionment. Street punks were disgusted both by the proliferation of phoneys and posers and the Kings Road conmen with their rip-off boutiques. But how much did Sham’s Jimmy Pursey really know about borstals, football and dole queues, and how much was he feeding off the people around him? The Last Resort’s Millwall Roi might have overstated the case but he summed up a common attitude when he wrote ‘I wish it was the weekend everyday/But Jimmy Pursey didn’t get his way/He liked to drink but he didn’t like to fight/He didn’t get his fucking homework right.’

Cockney cowboys? As Julie Burchill once observed: “It must have been a bloody strong wind the day the sound of Bow Bells reached Hersham.”

The Oi poloi didn’t need Punk’s proletarian wrapping paper – invented backgrounds and adopted attitudes, accents and aggression – because they really were the cul-de-sac, council estate kids the first punk bands had largely only pretended to be. The forerunners of Oi! were bands like Cock Sparrer, Menace, Slaughter & The Dogs and the UK Subs although none of these bands were as successful as Sham whose raucous brand of football chant punk dented the Top Ten three times.

Before he went potty, Jimmy Pursey gave the kiss of life to the two bands who defined the parameters and direction of original Oi – the Angelic Upstarts and the Cockney Rejects.

Singer Tommy ‘Mensi’ Mensforth and guitarist Ray Cowie, known as Mond, formed the Upstarts in the summer of ’77 after getting blown away by the Clash’s White Riot tour. Childhood mates, they had grown up together on the Brockley Whinns council estate in South Shields and later attended Stanhope Road Secondary Modern school (Mensi got expelled from the local grammar school at thirteen for delinquency.)

Mensi worked as an apprentice miner after leaving school. Forming the band at 19 was his escape route from the pits. Mond worked as a shipyard electrician right up until their first hit. The Upstarts’ original drummer and bassist quit after violent crowd reactions to their first gig in nearby Jarrow, to be replaced by bakery worker Stix and bricklayer Steve Forsten respectively. The band were also soon to recruit the services of Keith Bell, a self-confessed former gangster and one-time North Eastern Countries light-middleweight boxing champ, who as manager, bouncer and bodyguard was able to maintain order at early gigs on the basis of his reputation alone.

The Upstarts soon attracted the attention of the Northumbria Police Force, who haunted the band’s early career like a malignant poltergeist. Police interest stemmed from the Upstarts’ championing of the cause of Birtley amateur boxer Liddle Towers who died from injuries received after a night in the police cells. The inquest called it ‘justifiable homicide’. The Upstarts called it murder, and ‘The Murder of Liddle Towers’ (b/w ‘Police Oppression’) was their debut single on their own Dead Records. Later re-pressed by Rough Trade, the song’s brutal passion was well received even by music press pseuds, although not by the Old Bill who infiltrated gigs in plain clothes. Charges of incitement to violence were considered. Only the Upstarts’ mounting press coverage dissuaded them. For their part the band were uncompromising. They appeared on the front cover of the Socialist Workers Party’s youth magazine Rebel soon after and accused their area police of being largely National Front sympathisers.

Official police action might have been dropped but unofficial harassment continued unabated. Mensi claimed he was constantly followed and frequently stopped, searched and abused by individual officers. The band blamed unofficial police pressure for getting them banned from virtually every gig in the North East of England – via the promise of raids, prosecution for petty rule breaking, opposing licence renewals and so on. The Upstarts got the last laugh though when in April ’79 they conned a Prison Chaplain into inviting them to play a gig at Northumbria’s Acklington Prison (where ironically Keith Bell had finished his last sentence). 150 cons turned up to see a union jack embellished with the words ‘Upstarts Army’, a clenched fist, the motto ‘Smash Law And Order’ and a pig in a helmet entitled ‘PC Fuck Pig’. The band hadn’t managed to smuggle in a ‘real’ pig’s head (they usually smashed one up on stage) but the cons revelled merrily in the wham-bam wallop of rebel anthems like ‘Police Oppression’, ‘We Are The People’ (about police corruption), and a specially amended version of ‘Borstal Breakout’ retitled ‘Acklington Breakout’.

The Daily Mirror splashed with ‘Punks Rock A Jailhouse’ (wrongly identifying me as the band’s spokesman.) The Prison Governor and local Tories did their nuts, with Tynemouth MP, the appropriately named Neville Trotter, condemning the gig as ‘an incredibly stupid thing to allow’. Only Socialist Worker printed a true record of the gig, quoting Mensi telling prisoners they’d be better off in nick if Thatcher got elected that summer, and urging punks to vote Labour as ‘Thatcher’s government will destroy the trade union movement’. (In reality Mensi’s brand sub-Scargill patriotic socialism was far removed from the SWP’s revised Trotsky-lite posturing).

The band’s salty populism and savage post-Sham punk attracted a massive following of working class kids in the North East, the self-styled Upstarts Army, while the power of their debut single convinced Jimmy Pursey to form his JP label with Polydor. The Upstarts were the label’s first signing and also their first sacking after a jumped-up Polydor security guard tried to push the band about. He took on Mensi in a one against one fight and went down like the Belgrano. Polydor dropped the band. They never bothered to ask for Mensi’s side of the story. Soon after the Upstarts signed with Warner Brothers. Their second single, the Pursey produced ‘I’m An Upstart’, was released in April ’79, charted, and was chased hard by the ‘Teenage Warning’ single and album

The Cockney Rejects were also the real deal, this time the sons of dockers from London’s East End, but their music wasn’t political. Thirty years of lame Labour local government had stripped them of any world view except cynicism. Their songs were about East End life, boozers, battles, police harassment and football.

I met them first in May ’79. Two cocky urchins adorned in West Ham badges bowled into my boozer spieling back-slang and thrust their tatty demo tapes into my hand. Like them it was rough, ready and suffused with more spirit than Mystic Challenge. I put them in touch with Pursey who produced their first demo tape. These songs re-emerged as the Small Wonder debut ep ‘Flares & Slippers’ which included the essential guttersnipe anthem ‘Police Car’ (‘I like punk and I like Sham – I got nicked over West Ham…’). It sold surprising well and earned them the NME epithet of the “brainstorming vanguard of the East End punk renewal”, (although the student-orientated rag was later to virtually ignore Oi! until its arrival in the headlines forced their hand.)

The kids were the Geggus brothers Mickey and Jeff, the latter soon known to the world as Stinky Turner. Both had been good boxers – neither of them had ever been put down in the ring, and Jeff had boxed for the England youth team. They had little trouble transferring their belt onto vinyl. The Rejects’ story began in the summer of ’77 when seventeen-year-old Mickey was first inspired to pick up a plectrum by the Pistols’ ‘God Save The Queen’. Incubating in back garden performances in their native Canning Town as The Shitters, the Rejects only emerged as a real group after council painter Mickey recruited twenty-one-year Vince Riordan as bassist in 1979. Previously a Sham roadie, Vince (whose uncle was Jack ‘The Hat’ McVitie) had marked time with loser band the Dead Flowers before he heard the Cockney call. Drummers were to come and go with the regularity of a high-fibre diet until Stix transferred from the Upstarts in 1980.

Live, the band hit like a mob of rampaging rhinos, with Mickey’s sledgehammer guitar the cornerstone of their tough, tuneful onslaught. Schoolboy Stinky was a sight for sore eyes too, screwing up his visage into veritable orgies of ugliness, and straining his tonsils to holler vocals best likened to a right evil racket. I was the Rejects’ first manager – although those stories are best left for another book - and I stayed with them until Pursey and I had negotiated an EMI deal for them. After that, I bowed out to let a man I assumed was a pro take over. He was Pursey’s manager Tony Gordon, who went on to handle Boy George (in the management sense). So little was money my motivation, that my price for signing the band over was a £100 meal at the Park Lane Hilton (I went with Hoxton Tom and our wives – Tony begged us to get him a receipt). In retrospect Gordon was bad for the band. They really needed a Peter Grant figure, someone tougher and smarter than they were, to keep their energies channelled in a more umm, artistic direction.

Under Tony Gordon, the Rejects’s career soared briefly then crashed and burned. After getting evicted from Polydor’s studios for running up a damages bill of £1,000, the band got stuck into serious recordings with Pursey at the production controls. Their second EMI single ‘Bad Man’ was superb, like PiL on steroids, but it only made the fag end of the charts. Their next release, a piss-take of Sham called ‘The Greatest Cockney Rip-Off’ did better, denting the Top 30. Their debut album ‘Greatest Hits Vol 1’ did the same, notching up over 60,000 sales.

Unlike the Upstarts’, the Rejects’ first following wasn’t largely skinhead; in fact at first skins didn’t like them. Stinky’s school pals the Rubber Glove firm aside, The Rejects crew came from football and consisted largely of West Ham chaps attracted by Vince’s involvement and disillusioned Sham and Menace fans. Famous faces included Gary Dickle, Johnny Butler, Carlton Leach, Andy Russell, Andy Swallow, Hoxton Tom, Binnsy, H and Wellsy. Even as early as November 1979, their Hammers support was so strong that mass terrace chants of ‘Cockney Rejects – oh, oh’ were clearly audible on televised soccer matches – to the tune of Gary Glitter’s – Hello Hello I’m Back Again’.

Many of the East End Glory Boys swelled their ranks a little later, realising for the first time that here was a band exactly the same as them.

The first stand-alone Oi scene developed around the Cockney Rejects and their regular gig venue, the Bridge House in Canning Town, East London. It became the focus for an entire subculture. In 1980, this was the LIFE!

None of these faces were “Nazis”. Most of them weren’t political at all, beyond the sense of voting Labour (if they bothered to vote at all) out of a sense of tradition. A tiny percentage was interested in the extremes of either right or left. As a breed they were natural conservatives. They believed in standing on their own two feet. They were patriotic, and proud of their class and their immediate culture. They looked good and dressed sharp. It was important not to look like a scruff or a student. Their heroes were boxers and footballers, not union leaders. Unlicensed boxing was a big draw, as were the dogs and stag comedians like Jimmy Jones and Jimmy Fagg. They liked to fight around football matches – the West Ham ICF (Inter City Firm) were fully represented at most local Rejects gigs. The young men oozed machismo, but some of the women were just as tough. But they weren’t mugs. These were bright kids and a surprisingly large number of them have gone on to carve out successful businesses in fields as diverse as the music industry, pornography and clothing manufacture.

They’re the ones who didn’t end up in jail of course.

They related to the Cockney Rejects because at the time at least the Rejects mirrored their audience. Rarely in rock history have a band and their followers been so identical.

The Rejects and the Upstarts had plenty in common – shared management, shared experiences of the Old Bill, shared class backgrounds – and were soon identified (by me) in the music press as the start of something different, a new more class conscious punk variant, which was known at first as ‘Real Punk’ or ‘New Punk’ and which had little in common with 1979’s self-styled punk rockers in their second-hand images and wally bondage pants. It was a pairing they obviously approved of with both bands frequently jamming together at each other’s gigs. Unlike Sham, the Rejects had little Nazi trouble. They wrote off the threat from the British Movement (we called them the German Movement) in their first Sounds interview. “We can handle them,” said Stinky. “If anyone comes to the gigs and wants to have a row, we’ll have to row. Pursey couldn’t do that. We’re not gonna take no bollocks.”

Strong words that they had to back up the first time they played outside of the East End, supporting the Upstarts at the Electric Ballroom in Camden. When a large mob of BM skins started harassing punks in the audience, the Rejects and their twelve-handed entourage (including two of the fledgling 4-Skins) took ’em on and battered them. Mickey Geggus commented: “Our gigs are for enjoyment. No one’s gonna disrupt them or pick on our fans. Troublemakers will be thrown out – by us if necessary.”

The only other major run-in they ever had with the far right was at Barking station the following February, and once again the master race contingent got bashed. Most of the Rejects’ London gigs were trouble free, especially the ones at the Bridge House, which was to London Oi! what the Roxy had been to Punk. Managed by Terry Murphy and his tough boxer sons, the Bridge never had a serious punch-up or any sieg-heiling. No one dared step out of line against the Murphys. Son Glen, the former barman, later played George Green on TV’s London’s Burning.

The Angelic Upstarts also fought – and won - a couple of sharp battles against the far right. They played numerous Rock Against Racism gigs too, including one at Leeds where the band sported SWP ‘Disband The SPG’ badges. Like the Rejects their real ag came from other areas – principally their manager, Keith Bell. Sacked by the band when he started to knock them about, Bell and his henchmen set about trying to intimidate Upstart fans, even assaulting people buying their records, before threatening Mensi’s mother, smashing her house windows and making threatening and abusive phone calls to her. Reprisal incidents included Mensi and one time Upstarts drummer Decca Wade smashing one of the Bell firm’s car windows and a midnight visit to Bell’s own home by Decca’s dad, club comedian Derek Wade and Mensi’s brother-in-law Billy Wardropper who blasted one of Bell’s henchmen in the leg with a sawn-off shotgun. Hitting back, Bell threatened to kill Wade Senior. Three of his cronies set fire to a stable belonging to Mensi’s sister causing almost £5K worth of damage. In ensuing court cases both Bell and Billy Wardropper were jailed while Decca’s dad copped a year’s suspended sentence. Presiding Judge Hall told the Upstarts team: “I accept that all of you suffered a severe amount of provocation, which was none of your seeking. But at the same time I have a duty to condemn the use of firearms, particularly a sawn-off shotgun.” The Upstarts’ recorded their opinion in ‘Shotgun Solution’: ‘Shotgun blasts ring in my ears/Shoot some scum who live by fear/A lot of good men will do some time/For a fucking cunt without a spine’.

With the Rejects, football was the trouble. And it was understandable because they’d been fanatically pro-West Ham aggro from the word go. Even at their debut Bridge House gig they decked the stage out with a huge red banner displaying the Union Jack, the West Ham crossed hammers and the motif ‘West Side’ (which was that part of the West Ham ground then most favoured by the Irons’ most violent fans). Their second hit was a version of the West Ham anthem ‘Bubbles’ which charted in the run-up to West Ham’s Cup Final Victory in the early summer of 1980. On the b-side was the ICF-pleasing ‘West Side Boys’ which included lines like: ‘We meet in the Boelyn every Saturday/Talk about the teams that we’re gonna do today/Steel-capped Doctor Martens and iron bars/Smash the coaches and do ’em in the cars’.

It was a red rag to testosterone-charged bulls all over the country. At North London’s Electric Ballroom, 200 of West Ham’s finest mob-charged less than fifty Arsenal and smacked them clean out of the venue. But ultra-violence at a Birmingham gig really spelt their undoing. The audience at the Cedar Club was swelled by a mob of Birmingham City skinheads who terrace-chanted throughout the support set from the Kidz Next Door (featuring Grant Fleming, now a leftwing film maker, and Pursey’s kid brother Robbie). By the time the Rejects came on stage there were over 200 Brum City skins at the front hurling abuse. During the second number they started hurling plastic glasses. Then a real glass smashed on stage. Stinky Turner responded by saying: “If anyone wants to chuck glasses they can come outside and I’ll knock seven shades of shit out of ya”. That was it, glasses and ashtrays came from all directions. One hit Vince and as a Brum skinhead started shouting “Come on”, Micky dived into the crowd and put him on his back. Although outnumbered more than ten to one, the Rejects and their entourage drove the Brummy mob right across the hall, and finally out of it altogether. Under a hail of missiles Mickey Geggus sustained a head injury that needed nine stitches and left him with what looked like a Fred Perry design above his right eye. Grant Fleming, a veteran of such notorious riots as Sham at Hendon and Madness at Hatfield, described the night’s violence as the worst he’d ever seen.

Taken to the local hospital for treatment, Geggus had to bunk out of a twenty-foot high window when ‘tooled-up’ mates of the injured Brum City fans came looking for him. Back at the gig, the Londoners emerged triumphant from the fighting only to discover all their gear had been ripped off – total value, two grand. The next morning, the Cockney contingent split into two vans – one that went on to the next gig at Huddersfield, the other containing Mickey and Grant that went cruising round the city looking for any likely punters who might know the whereabouts of their stolen gear. Incidents that morning in Wolverhampton Road, Albury, involving Geggus, three locals and an iron bar, resulted in Mickey being charged with malicious wounding. Eight months later, both he and Grant had the luck of the devil to walk away with suspended sentences.

Maybe as insurance, in the summer of ’80, the Rejects played two

Bridge House benefit gigs for the Prisoners Rights Organisation, PROP, arranged by me and Hoxton Tom with the help of Terry Murphy. Tom’s aunt was involved with London PROP because his uncle, Steven Smeeth, had been jailed for his part in George Davis’s doomed comeback caper. The gigs were two of the best I’d ever seen the band play.

Brum had meant the end of the Rejects as a touring band however. They had to pull a Liverpool gig when literally hundreds of tooled-up Scouse match boys came looking for confrontation. Road manager Kevin Wells was threatened at knife point. At first Mickey seemed to revel in it all, acting like he was living out some Cagney movie. The band’s second LP called, surprisingly enough, ‘Greatest Hits Vol 2’, reflected his apparent death wish with sleevenotes boasting ‘From Scotland down to Cornwall, we dun the lot, we took ’em all. On the song ‘Urban Guerrilla’ he spoke these words: “Some folk call it anarchy, but I just call it fun. Don’t give a fuck about the law, I wanna kill someone.” Me? I think he meant it.

But in the long build up to the trial, a change came over Mickey. He swapped his little blue pills for ganja and started to mellow. Correspondingly, the Rejects’ music began to move away from hooligan racket towards more mainstream rock. 1981’s ‘The Power & The Glory’ sounded like The Professionals. 1982’s ‘The Wild Ones’, produced by Pete Way, was more like UFO. And if 1984’s ‘Quiet Storm’ had been any more laid back it could have been bottled and sold as Valium. 'The Wild Ones' remains a great rock album, with stand-out tracks such as City Of Lights; but the old fans were actively hostile to their new sounds, while abysmal marketing meant potential new fans never got to hear them. Stale mate.

The Angelic Upstarts lost their momentum in 1980 as well, getting dropped by Warners in the summer. And although they were snapped up by EMI, going on to release their finest studio album, ‘Two Million Voices’ in April ’81, they barely played live and fans were getting frustrated.

During 1980, hooligan audiences, especially in South East London, found new live laughs in the shape of Peckham-based piss-artist pranksters Splodgenessabounds, whose brand of coarse comedy and punk energy scored three top thirty singles that year. Their debut single, ‘Two Pints of Lager’ was a Top Ten smash. Tongue in cheek, I dubbed them ‘punk pathetique’ along with equally crazy bands like Brighton’s Peter & The Test-Tube Babies and Geordie jesters The Toy Dolls.

Singer Max Splodge insisted: “The pathetique bands are the other side of Oi! We’re working class too only whereas some bands sing about prison and the dole, we sing about pilchards and bums. The audience is the same.’ Pathetique peaked in the autumn of 1980 with the Pathetique Convention at the Electric Ballroom. West Ham’s bootboy poet Barney Rubble was Man of the Match.

Elsewhere a second generation of hardcore Oi! bands had been spawned directly by the Upstarts and the Rejects. The Upstarts inspired Criminal Class from Coventry, and Infa-Riot from Plymouth via North London. The Cockney Rejects inspired the ferocious 4-Skins, and Sunderland’s Red Alert. Edinburgh noise-terrorists the Exploited also cited the Rejects as their major influence. In London, a whole host of groups sprang up around the Rejects too including Barney & The Rubbles and Stinky’s Postmen combo. A movement was evolving at the grass roots.

I called it Oi!

Oi! was and remains a Cockney street shout guaranteed to turn heads. Stinky Turner used to holler it at the start of each Rejects number, replacing the first punks’ habitual ‘1,2,3,4’. Before him “Oi! Oi!” had been Ian Dury’s catch-phrase, although he’d probably nicked it from Cockney comic Jimmy Wheeler whose catchphrase had been “Oi, Oi that’s yer lot.” Entertainers Flanagan and Allen first used “Oi!” as a catchphrase in their 1930s variety act.

As I was compiling ‘Oi! – The Album’ for EMI (released in November 1980) more like-minded combos sent demo tapes from all over the country. There was Blitz from New Mills, The Strike from Lanarkshire and Demob from Gloucester. But the first real challengers for the Rejects crown were the 4-Skins. They made their debut supporting the Damned at the Bridge House in ’79 with Micky Geggus on drums. The 4-Skins developed through various line-ups playing low-key London pub gigs sporadically before arriving at their definite line-up towards the end of 1980: Gary Hodges, vocals; Hoxton Tom, bass; Rockabilly Steven Pear, guitar; and John Jacobs, drums. There was a real charisma about the band, and their raw brand of barbed-wire roar was blessed with a driving dynamism. Their stand-out song was ‘Chaos’, a horror movie fantasy of urban chaos and skinhead takeover. But most of their three minute blasts of fury concerned unemployment and police harassment (‘ACAB’, ‘Wonderful World’), the horrors of war (‘I Don’t Wanna Die’), thinking for yourself (‘Clockwork Skinhead’) self-pride (‘Sorry’) and class (‘One Law For Them’).

Both the 4-Skins and Infa-Riot were emphatic about the need to learn from the Rejects’ mistakes and get away from football trouble. The 4-Skins favoured no one team (Hodges was West Ham, Hoxton, Spurs, Steve, Arsenal and Jacobs, Millwall) and no one political preference (Hoxton was a liberal; Steve left Labour; Jacobs apolitical; and Hodges was a reformed right-winger very pro anti-unemployment campaigns). Infa-Riot were the same, professing no football affiliations. Mensi wrote their first Sounds review, and he and Jock McDonald got them their first London gigs. Musically, they were a lot like a lither, wilder Upstarts. Like most Upstarts-influenced groups Infa-Riot played gigs for Rock Against Racism (an apparently noble campaign that was actually a front for the extreme Left SWP). Criminal Class played RAR gigs too, and a benefit for the highly suspect Troops Out Of Ireland movement.

The 4-skins refused to play RAR gigs, not wanting to be poster boys for Trotskyism.

The Oi! bands converged to publicly thrash out their stance at the Oi debate held at Sounds in January 1981. Everyone agreed on the need for raw r’n’r, and the sense of benefit gigs, but there was a heated difference of opinion on politics. Stinky Turner was violently against politics and politicians. Mensi argued that Labour still represented working class interests and claimed that “the Tories still represent the biggest threat to our kind of people”. It was the same divide that had always separated the Rejects and the Upstarts. They managed to be agree about reclaiming Britain’s Union flag for the people and, erh, that was it.

Although a few black and immigrant kids were into Oi, it was mostly a white working class phenomenon. The West Indian kids into Oi were cockney Blacks like the now famous/infamous Cass Pennant who’d rejected the pull of Rastafarianism and reggae. No Oi! band professed racialist or Nazi leanings (in fact Demob had two mixed race boxers in the band) and the teething trouble that dogged early gigs was all to do with the football legacy bequeathed by the Rejects. As Punk Lives commentated later “Anyone who went to Oi! gigs could tell you you didn’t get sieg-heiling at them…ironically Madness and Bad Manners had most trouble with Nazi skins at the time. All Oi! went on about was class”.

For the first half year of Oi the movement there were only two bad incidents of gig violence, both around Infa-Riot. The band headlined the first ‘New Punk Convention’ at the tail end of 1980 with the Upstarts and Criminal Class. It ended in disaster as Poplar Boy West Ham fans slugged it out with a smaller Arsenal crew led by the then infamous Dave Smith who followed the Upstarts.

In March 1981, Infa-Riot played the Acklam Hall in West London with Millwall skinhead band the Last Resort. Tooled-up local Queens Park Rangers supporting LGS skins and straights besieged the venue looking for West Ham. At one stage they tried to smash their way in through the roof. Ironically, most Hammers Oi fans were safely in Upton Park at the time, watching their boys battle a Russian team.

The model of the sort of gig the bands wanted came in February 1981 with the second New Punk Convention, this time held at the Bridge House with the 4-Skins headlining (and introduced by the king of rude reggae himself, Judge Dread). The pub venue was packed far over capacity with a motley crew of skins, working class punks and soccer rowdies drawn from the ranks of West Ham, Spurs, Millwall, QPR, Arsenal and Charlton. There wasn’t one ruck all night.

This gig set a precedent for peaceful co-existence that lasted even when Oi! shifted venues to Hackney’s Deuragon Arms. It was living proof that Pursey’s old dream of the Kids United could happen. But united for what? It was around this time that I and the leading bands entered into a conspiracy to pervert the course of youth cult history. We held a conference to plan the way the Oi! movement could develop in a positive, united manner. The idea was not only to arrange gigs and set up an Oi! record label, but also to plug away at the central theme of the folly of street kids fighting each other over football teams. We wanted to give Oi! a purpose by playing benefit gigs for working class causes.

At the time I was living on the Ferrier estate in Kidbrook, South East London, as was Frankie ‘Boy’ Flame. And bands frequently made the pilgrimage here to stay in our maisonette while they were playing London or just to shoot the breeze in the Wat Tyler pub. Some petty jealousies and band rivalry existed, but the Oi! scene was far more united than any other youth cult in British history. We tried to build on that.

The first Oi! conference was a small affair attended by reps from the Rejects, the 4-Skins, Splodge, Infa-Riot, the Business and the Last Resort, the latter two being the latest recruits to the burgeoning movement. The Business were then known as ‘pop-oi’ because of their tuneful anthems. They came from Lewisham, South London. They were fronted by Mickey Fitz, who like guitarist Steve Kent, had attended Colfe's Grammar School in Lee (as I had done) and had developed a terrace following which peacefully included West Ham, Chelsea and Millwall. Kent was a truly talented musician. The Business were managed by West Ham vet Laurie Pryor who was also known as Ronnie Rouman.

The Last Resort were a skinhead band from South London via Herne Bay, Kent, based around the Last Resort shop in Petticoat Lane, East London and financed by the shop’s owner Michael French. They too saw Oi as being bigger that skins. “Oi is uniting punks, skins and everyone,” growler Millwall Roi told Sounds in their first interview. “Now we’ve just gotta get away from football.”

Lee Wilson of Infa-Riot agreed. “Oi is the voice of street kids everywhere,” he said. “That’s why we’re gonna grow, that’s why we’re gonna win.” And Oi was growing all the time. By spring, as I was compiling the second Oi compilation “Strength Thru Oi” for Decca (released May ’81) over fifty bands had aligned with the movement, including the Oi/ska combo the Buzz Kids whose singer, Garry Johnson’s lyric writing far outshone his vocal ability. He’d already had some lyrics published in a poetry collection by Babylon Books called “Boys Of The Empire”. I encouraged him to ditch the band and branch out as Oi’s first entirely serious poet. Johnson’s humour and his bitterly anti-establishment verses added yet more credence to Oi!, as did the plethora of good fanzines that had sprung up around it – the best being Rising Free, Ready To Ruck (which became New Mania) and Phase One. In June a second Oi! conference was held in the Conway Hall at Red Lion Square, attended by 57 interested parties including reps from bands all over the country. There was much concern voiced about the movement’s violent image, which was felt to be unjust. The sublime Beki Bondage from the Oi-bolstered punk band Vice Squad complained that the aggressive skin on the front of ‘Strength Thru Oi!’ made the movement look too skinhead orientated. Everyone agreed. And once again conference voted unanimously to back pro-working class campaigns. Ron Rouman was delegated to write to the Right To Work Campaign that week to set up gigs. The main themes of the day were the need to unite working class kids, and stick together. Punk Lives called it “a glimpse of the future Oi! could have had.”

When the 4-Skins, the Last Resort and the Business played a gig at the Hamborough Tavern in Southall six days later, the riot that surrounded it and the acres of hysterical newsprint that ensued drowned out that possibility, and any chance of Oi getting a fair hearing, for good.

WHEN THE shit hit the headlines during 1981’s summer of discontent, I sincerely believed that the truth would out. That the smears against the Oi bands would be laughed at in the same way that the slurs against the Sex Pistols and The Clash had been. The whole idea that the bands had gone into Middlesex to provoke a race riot was absurd. We’d been talking strike benefits, not NF marches. No Oi band had sported swaztikas like the Sex Pistols had done. No Oi band had sung lyrics like “too many Jews for my liking” as Siouxsie Banshee did. No Oi band had lifted their name from the SS like Joy Division had done…

What contributed to Oi’s undoing however was the movement’s utter hostility to the middle classes in general and the trendy left in particular (see the Garry Johnson/Business anthem ‘Suburban Rebels’). So as well as incurring the wrath of the right-wing establishment, Oi also alienated the left-wing of the middle class media whose backing had seen the punk bands through their own particular backlash and who were later to defend rap and hip-hop which were far more violent than Oi had ever been, and anti-semitic to boot. Besides me, there was no-one else in the media to defend the bands. Very few rock journalists had ventured into the East End to see the gigs. (Indeed the idea that the NME was ever THE punk paper is a complete myth. That paper rubbished Anarchy In The UK and their first review of The Clash suggested they "should be returned to the garage, preferrably with the motor running." Parsons and Burchill loved Joe Strummer and co for their politics alone.)

The Oi! bands and their fans were guilty of that most terrible of crimes – being white and working class with chips on their shoulders.

Ironically Alan Rusbridger, now the editor of The Guardian was the only journalist to give the Oi bands a fair hearing…

The superficial evidence against Oi seemed strong – the Southall riot and ‘Strength Thru Oi’. The Oi! gig at Southall’s Hamborough Tavern had been arranged by West London 4-Skins’ fans fed up with having to travel to the East End to see the shows. The press painted sinister pictures of skinheads being ‘bussed’ into a predominantly Asian area. FACT: there were just two coaches hired by the Last Resort who hired coaches to transport their away-firm of fans whenever the band played anywhere outside of South London. TV and radio reports gave the impression of skinheads battling Asian youths and the Police. FACT: the Oi fans were all inside the Tavern enjoying the gig when the first Asian petrol bomb sailed through the window. The cops were protecting the Oi kids. The press said the peaceful Asian community had risen spontaneously to repulse right-wing invaders who had terrorised the town. FACT: there’d been just one abusive incident involving young skinheads from Mottingham, Kent, in a chip shop earlier in the evening. “They probably asked the geezer how many rupees a packet of chips cost,” Max Splodge later shrugged.

The sheer quantity of petrol bombs used by the Asians indicated they’d been stockpiling them for some days before. The young Asians were definitely on the offensive. Young white Oi fans were assaulted by Asian youths on buses going TO the gig, and a minibus containing Business fans from Lewisham and radical poet Garry Johnson was attacked by Asians wielding swords without any provocation (see Johnson’s book The Story of Oi for full details). In fact the apparently placid Asian community was to riot again within the week with no ‘outsiders’ to pin the blame on.

The idea that the bands had gone to Southall to deliberately provoke a race riot just to be able to cash-in on the ensuing publicity is just daft. It goes completely against everything they’d been trying to achieve for the previous eight months. The 4-Skins manager Garry Hitchcock said “If we’d really wanted to go to Southall and smash it up, we’d have come with geezers – and left all the birds and the kids behind”.

“People ask why the Oi bands played Southall,” commented Hoxton Tom, “but you’ve gotta remember, in them days any gig was welcome. No one thought for a minute that there’d be trouble there. The Business had played Brixton before. The Last Resort had played Peckham, we’d played Hackney often and they’re all areas with large black populations, and yet those gigs were always trouble free. Oi had to break out of the East End to have any chance of growing.”

To the mass media, the events of July 4th were manna from heaven: Yobs. Immigrants. Anarchy. The Thin Blue Line… But the Oi crowd were reluctant participants. As soon as it was obvious real havoc was brewing, the Oi bands attempted to negotiate with the Southall Youth Movement through the police. They didn’t want to talk. “We didn’t want trouble,” said Tom, “but that’s all they had on their minds”. Under attack, the Oi-polloi had no other option but to fight a defensive rear-guard action and retreat. The Hamborough Tavern was razed to the ground. And the press distortion began. According to some reports right wing hate leaflets had been found in vans the following morning – the same vans that had been torched. Were the leaflets printed on asbestos? Hacks even descended on the Bridge House and tried to bribe kids into sieg-heiling for their cameras. One was kicked out of the pub by Si Spanner who was Jewish. But who cared about the truth? Storm-trooping skins made shock-horror headlines.

The fighting at Southall could have been worse. Scores more Oi! fans were turned back by the police before they’d even got to the gig, including Indian workmate of Hoxton Tom’s (the press never mentioned the few black, Asian and Greek kids inside the Tavern). Ironically, reports of a race riot on the radio induced mobs of West London bikers to rush to the scene eager to stand alongside their old enemies, the skins, against the Asians. The cops turned them back too.

I take full responsibility for ‘Strength Thru Oi’. I gave the album its title. But it was never knowingly a pun on the Nazi slogan Strength Through Joy. Let’s be honest, who knew? How many people my age were that up on Third Reich sloganeering? The Skids had released an ep called Strength Through Joy earlier that year, and that’s what I based the pun on (asked later, Skids singer Richard Jobson – now a dapper TV movie reviewer - said he’d taken it from the Dirk Bogarde’s autobiography). It was either that or The Oi Of Sex which I dismissed as too frivolous. D'oh!

Selective quotes from my sleevenotes were used by the Daily Mail to fit their theory of Oi’s ‘brown shirt’ philosophy. Naturally this meant they had to omit the favourable mentions of black sportsmen, including Jesse Owen, the American athlete who’d triumphed so dramatically at the 1936 Berlin Olympics. The fact there wasn’t a single racist lyric on the album didn’t seem to matter. Criminal Class’s ‘Blood On The Street’ actually made the point that black and white youth faced the same state oppression.

The biggest argument they had was the picture of the aggressive skin on the front cover. This turned out to be Nicoli Crane (a half-Italian gay Nazi who later died of AIDS). Here’s the truth: the original model had been West Ham personality and then body-builder Carlton Leach. Carlton had turned up for one photo session at the Bridge House that didn’t work. He never turned up for the second one. Under looming deadline pressure I suggested using a shot from a skinhead Xmas card which I believed was a still from the Wanderers movie. In fact it had been taken by English skinhead photographer Martin Dean. It wasn’t until the very last minute, when Decca had mocked up the sleeve that the photo was sufficiently clear to reveal Nazi tattoos. We had the option of either airbrushing the tattoos out or putting the LP back a month while we put a new sleeve together. Said Splodge manager Dave Long: “Blame it on youthful impetuousness but the wrong decision was made. It was a mistake, but it was an honest mistake. There’s nothing else on that LP or in Oi that could possibly be construed as dodgy.”

Another crucial point the critics skipped over was that it wasn’t only me who hadn’t realised the picture was of Nicoli Crane. The far right hadn’t either. That album had been out for two months before the Daily Mail ‘exposed’ it (and me!) and yet not once had it been referred to in right-wing publications. It was a bitter irony. Me, at that point in my life a dedicated socialist (used to having “Bushell is a red” chanted at me good-naturedly at gigs), accused of masterminding a right-wing movement by a newspaper that had once supported Mosley’s Blackshirts, Mussolini’s invasion of Abyssinia, and appeasement with Hitler right up to the outbreak of World War Two…

The Mail's ferocious attack on Oi! - later disowned by Simon Kinersley, the journalist who wrote it - was obviously related to the fact that Sounds was owned by their rivals - the Daily Express group.

Southall proved the catalyst for a spate of anti-government riots and there was no doubt where the Oi! bands stood on that issue, with the 4-Skins, Blitz and the Violators celebrating the popular uprisings with songs like ‘One Law For Them’, ‘Nation On Fire’ and ‘Summer of ‘81’.

In Sounds and in his book The Story of Oi, Garry Johnson called on black and white youth to unite to fight the Tories. Sounds and I started libel proceedings against the Mail, while the Oi bands now shaped up to deal with a problem that had never seemed and issue before – Nazism.

Naturally the far right loved it. YNF organiser Joseph Pearce (brother of Soft Cell’s Stevo) popped up in the press out of nowhere claiming that the Oi bands were the musical wing of the National Front. Pearce had never even been to an Oi gig.

Out of journalistic interest, I surveyed skinheads in the Last Resort shop on the Sunday after Southall. Most of them cited some immigrant ancestry from Irish to Pakistani through Russian Jew. Last Resort fan Khalid Karim from Leytonstone who was half-Pakistani swore he had never been hassled at any Last Resort gig. ‘Gappy’ Eddie from Poplar claimed to personally know at least thirty ‘non-white’ skins, including West Indian skins from Hackney, Brixton, Ladbroke Grove and Walthamstow, a half-Pakistani suedehead from Dalston and another half-Pakistani skin called Rob from Wimbledon who I remember was always at Oi gigs taking pictures. Sixteen-year-old Nicky Holder from Lewisham named other non-white skins – Gary Singh from Belvedere, West Indian Colin McClean from Lewisham, Arab skin Mushti from New Cross, and a huge black Orpington skin called Sanya. Jewish skinhead Tony Stern from Epping claimed to know “loads of Jewish skins and no one gets any trouble, where are all the ‘Nazi’ skins now, that’s what I wanna know.” Danielle Lux, from an orthadox Jewish family, was always down at the Hackney gigs. She is now something important at Channel 4.

When Socialist Worker ran a report based on the Mail article, it was inundated with letters from socialist skins and punks complaining how out of touch it was. Sheffield skins wrote to Sounds to say that the month before 500 black and white skinheads had marched together in protest against Unemployment and police harassment bearing placards proclaiming ‘Jobs Not Jails’. SWP skin poet Seething Wells was outraged by the all-skins-are-nazis line, pointing to the literally thousands of Northern skins and rudies who had swelled June’s anti-Nazi Leeds Carnival. He might have mentioned Liverpool’s ‘Skin Fein’ republican skins too.

It was harder to get the truth into the nationals. A freelance journalist called John Glatt came and spoke to skinheads at length and filed a sympathetic report to the News Of the World. His copy was slashed and distorted to make a cheap sensationalist slob story.

Even if Oi had just been a skinhead phenomenon it was dishonest and dangerously lazy journalism to suggest that anything more than a small minority of skinheads at this time were Nazi sympathisers.

The Oi bands realised that simple facts weren’t enough to win the propaganda battle. They had to prove their protestations of innocence. Garry Hodges went on TV to say that the 4-Skins would play an anti-racist gig as long as it was organised by an independent body, although the band split before it occurred under the tremendous pressure and after just one more gig – advertised as country band the Skans! - at a Mottingham pub. The Business declined to play RAR gigs for the old ‘RAR as Trot front’ reasons, but instead put together their own unwieldy named ‘Oi Against Racism and Political Extremism But Still Against The System tour with Infa-Riot, Blitz and the Partisans. Infa-Riot played a Sheffield RAR gig and Blitz played at the Blackburn leg of the Right To Work March.

After Southall, a few of us met up with Red Action, a working class street-fighting splinter from the SWP, to clear the air about Oi. Their leading member Mick O’Farrell even contributed a poem to the fourth Oi! album sleeve. It was a short-lived union, however. Although they called themselves socialists, Red Action were led by hard-core Irish nationalists and we disagreed passionately about Ulster and the Falklands.

In late August 1981, I complied the third Oi! album, ‘Carry on Oi!’ Released by Secret Records in October 1981. Eager to stand by the bands, I reformed my own 1970s band The Gonads to contribute Tucker’s Ruckers to the compilation. On first release it sold 35,000 copies, and has since gone gold on vinyl, selling many thousands more on CD. Melody Maker’s review stressed that Oi’s intentions ‘weren’t to divide but to unite the working classes’. The same month The Exploited smashed into the top forty with ‘Dead Cities’ (shame about that Top Of The Pops appearance), while The Business released their superb debut single coupling ‘Harry May’ with ‘National Insurance Blacklist’ – an attack on the unofficial employers’ blacklist operated against militant trade unionists in the building trade: 'Job chances seem very thin/It's a losing battle we must all win/The C.B.I. are winning keep down the pay Mysterious people calling early in the day/The 'x' has appeared, another lost life/No tears are shed for the children and wife/The dailies ignore it, or treat it with tact/ Still when have they been know to report fact?/In our country so fair and free, so say the holders of the economy, there is a monster said not to exist: They call it the employers blacklist...'Paradoxically, the period from September ’81 to the end of ’82 saw the strongest ever Oi! releases thanks to Secret, and the excellent Malvern label No Future’s series of twenty-two singles from the likes of Blitz, the Partisans, Red Alert, Peter & The Test-Tube Babies, and Derbyshire ‘Clockwork Orange’ band the Violators. Punk Lives mag calculated that Oi sold over two million in the first four years (by 2001, total sales by Oi groups and groups influenced by Oi stand at well over eleven million).

Recognising its significance left-wing playwright Trevor Griffiths wrote a play called Oi For England which was broadcast by ITV in April 1982 as well as being taken round England on a tour. The play was more than a little far-fetched. It featured four unemployed skins in an Oi band approached to play a Nazi gig, and revolved around their arguments about it and the riot outside. What Griffiths seemed to be saying however was that in any group of skins, you’d have one susceptible to the lure of race and nation, one drawn to class struggles, and two who couldn’t give a toss about politics.

Unfortunately, Oi’s vinyl health during 1982 wasn’t reflected on the streets. The 4-Skins split, then reformed with drummer Jacobs on guitar, new boy Pete Abbott on drums, Hoxton Tom still on bass and roadie Panther (Tony Cummins) on vocals. Later Millwall Roi sang with them. But by then Tom was the only surviving original, and sales had slumped almost out of sight. They split for good in 1984.

The Rejects were dropped by EMI in ’81, disowned Oi for HM, and didn’t play again for over a decade. The Upstarts soldiered on, playing the US punk circuit in ’82 but musically they went down the khazi. Under pressure from EMI the Upstarts released a poor synth pop saturated sell-out LP ‘Still From The Heart’ that flopped miserably. (Infa-Riot tried a similarly doomed direction change, releasing an LP of unbelievably ‘ordinary’ rock in 1983 before finally breaking up the following year). The Upstarts were the subject of a Channel 4 documentary in 1984, but their chart success was long behind them.

The Last Resort never ever got to the singles stage, they weren’t allowed a life independent of Micky French’s boutique. What he wanted was a house band, a singing advert for his t-shirts. Before Southall he opposed moves to send the bands on a US tour – he wanted the scene to stay at the small club level. The cynical claimed he didn’t want commercial competition for ‘his’ skinhead clothes market.

Sadly the Resort suffered when their London fans smashed up a pub in King’s Lynn called the Stanley Arms. Virtually the same crowd were also involved in a BBC televised ruck with local skins at Benny’s Club in Harlow. Both incidents happened in January ’82, at a time when everyone else was trying to prove that Oi! meant more than rucking. The Last Resort split with French later in ’82 to re-emerge as The Warriors, but back then they were never sufficiently motivated to build on their potential.

The Exploited meantime had shed their skin look, adopting a mutant Mohawk image and becoming the darlings of the Apocalypse Now punk revival. Singer Wattie went on to close down two thirds of Western Europe to other punk bands by smashing up dressing rooms. Losing gifted guitarist Big John (to Nirvana!) along the way, the band play on to this day.

Back in ’82, Blitz and The Business had clearly emerged as the new vanguard Oi desperately needed. Blitz specialised in belligerent boots ‘n’ braces brickwall Oi - pure youth anthems like ‘Fight To Live’ ‘Razors In The Night’, and the haunting ‘Warriors’. Their debut LP ‘Voice Of A Generation’ went top thirty and was the Oi LP of ’82 but they were never that hot live. A disastrous gig at the Hammersmith Clarendon at the end of ’82 was the beginning of the end. In ’83 Blitz split in two, their former engineer Tim Harris taking over from the popular Mackie as bassist (Mackie later formed the short-lived Rose Of Victory with Blitz guitarist Nidge Miller) and pushing the band into trendier synthesiser sounds with scant public appeal. They didn’t last into ’84.

The Business split and got punkier. Guitarist Steve Whale (ex-Gonads) contributed greatly to their harder sound. They were haunted by politics - internal and external. To back-up their ‘Blacklist’ song, Business manager Ron Rouman and the Oi organising committee (an ad-hoc body set up after Southall) met with blacklisted building worker Brian Higgins and other trade union militants to organise a big pro-union benefit gig. But the band bottled out and sacked Rouman, replacing him with bikers’ pin-up Vermilion Sands. Deprived of Rouman’s drive and terrace connections, the band fell apart. The Business reformed in 1984 and were smart enough to realise you had to tour to survive (ironically they signed to Rouman and Mark Brennan’s Link Records). They have been playing ever since to growing audiences, especially in the USA where they inspired another Oi wave.

Back home though, Oi as we first knew it died at the end of ’82. It never had room to grow, and its vanguard fell apart ignominiously. To paraphrase Mao, it was like a stream, when it’s moving it stays healthy, but when it gets blocked up and stagnant all the shit rises to the top. The Oi stream was definitely blocked up. And the poor quality of the new combos showcased on the fourth Oi LP ‘Oi Oi That’s Yer Lot’ (produced by Mickey Geggus and released by Secret in October ’82) confirmed it. The new bands were either too unoriginal, too weak, or (in the case of Terry Hayes and Skully’s East End Badoes, too limited in their appeal to a square mile of Poplar) to mean anything.

And when great Oi-influenced bands did break through in ’83 they all fell at early fences. Croydon’s Case were cracking – they specialised in a ballsy brand of high-octane pop fresher than Max Miller chewing polos in a mountain stream and were fronted by the exceptionally expressive Matthew Newman. Case attracted acclaim from most quarters (including the Daily Mirror and Radio One) but fell apart when Matthew swapped the stage for domestic bliss with Splodge co-vocalist Christine Miller. Similarly, Taboo rose from the ashes of the Violators and specialised in non-wimpy pop. But the band split when wonderful, vivacious vocalist Helen decided to get pregnant and leave.

Finally there was The Blood, one of the best Oi bands ever to come out of Blighty. Emerging out of the wild excesses of Charlton’s Coming Blood, The Blood’s debut LP ‘False Gestures For A Devious Public’ was an invigorating blend of Stranglers, Motorhead and Alice Cooper influences which hit the UK Top Thirty and was voted one of the year’s best by the Sounds staff. On stage they were awesome and OTT in equal measure. They filled blow-up dolls full of butchers’ offal and cut them up with chainsaws. And their lyrics were a cut-above the usual, with lines like 'The Pope said to the atheist, "In God's name I do swear, you're searching blindly in the dark for something that ain't there"/The atheist said to the Pope: "There ain't no getting round it, you too were searching in the dark for nothing...but you found it".' But the band were lazy bastards who never wanted to tour, and the days when you could scam your way to chart success were long gone.

Cock Sparrer reformed in ’83 and recorded the LP they always should have made, ‘Shock Troops’ (Carrere), but they never had chart success in the UK again. Modesty forbids any mention of the Gonads, considered by many to be the finest Oi! band of them all (see 'Glorious Bastards' for the proof in handy CD form).

At the fag end of ’83, Syndicate Records launched a new series of Oi! albums which lacked both the bite and the sales of the originals – ‘Son of Oi’ was nudging up to the 10,000 mark when Syndicate went bust in December ’84, that bankruptcy itself a reflection of Britain’s shrinking Oi market. The two best new bands were Burial and Prole (the latter a studio creation put together by me and Steve Kent). Scarborough’s Burial cited Oi and 2-Tone as forebears and mixed the sounds of ska and rowdy bootboy punk in their set. The only Oi! band to have any success were the Toy Dolls who scored a top ten novelty hit with their version of ‘Nellie The Elephant’ at Xmas 1984.

As British Punk degenerated after its ’81 boom, the skinhead scene became a political battleground and turned sour. The cream of the ’81 generation went Casual. A few even turned rockabilly. Meanwhile Nazi kids who’d never been part of Oi started turning up at the gigs, obviously attracted by the media’s ‘reporting’. When they found the truth was different, they turned nasty: Garry Johnson was beaten up by Nazi skins in Peckham. I was attacked by a mob of fifteen Nazis (not skins) at an Upstarts gig at the 100 Club. Si Spanner was stabbed by the same nazi who’d tried to stab Buster Bloodvessel at the Electric Ballroom. Attila The Stockbroker, the left-wing Oi poet/wally, was whacked on stage in North London. Infa-Riot were attacked at the 100 Club by Nazis. You get the picture.

In East London, it was a different story - the British Movement were taken out of the frame by the Inter City Firm. In early 1982, Skully and other Oi regulars had organised a march protesting about the jailing of their fellow ICF member Cass Pennant. The BM threatened individuals, putting pressure on them to cancel this "march for a nigger". The following Monday the ICF had been planning to take on Tottenham fans (as West Ham were playing Spurs that night). Instead they confronted and smashed the East London neo-Nazis who were drinking in the Boleyn Arms. They were never a significant presence on the West Ham terraces again, but they remained a problem elsewhere.

When they couldn’t find Oi bands to toe the master race line, the neo-Nazis created their own racial-nationalist skinhead scenes. In 1983 Skrewdriver, the veteran punk band first featured on Janet Street-Porter’s punk TV documentary in 1976, came back as Nazi skinheads and were the cornerstone of the new hate-punk sound; at first they were alligned with the NF-run White Noise Club which shamelessly ripped off all the bands. Betrayed Ian Stewart founded the stand-alone Blood & Honour scene. Opposing them were a raft of equally extreme Trotskyist bands and performers, like the Redskins, the Newtown Neurotics, Attila and Seething Wells.

Quietly, and apart from all the polemics, a small, smartly dressed alternative skinhead scene developed underground. Hard As Nails fanzine reflected this growing trend. It was run by two young kids from Canvey, Essex, both Labour Party members. But they insisted the mag was about style, not politics. They had some cross-over with the scooterist scene which flourishes to this day, with thousands subscribing to George Marshall’s marvellous Pulped mag and enjoying a drip-feed of classic Oi CDs from Mark Brennan’s splendid Captain Oi!, the world’s leading punk re-issue label.

The British Oi scene didn’t really perk up until Link Records came along in 1986, and gave a platform to bands like Section 5 and Vicious Rumours. But Link couldn’t reverse the decline. In Britain Oi fizzled out and turned to shit for many a barren year. But the fuse we lit went on to detonate explosive scenes around the globe. There is even an underground Oi! scene in mainland China. Oi had taken off in most European countries by the mid-eighties, producing exciting distinctive bands such as Oxymoron in Germany and Discipline in Belgium. In Berlin, Mad Marc did what English Oi should have done - he built an alternative promotion group along with his own fanzine and record store. It has now been running for more than a quarter of a century and has been hugely influential in keeping the real spirit of Oi – working class hooligan youth, black and white – alive. MAD tour booking were a major force in bringing British Oi back to life. As Marc says: “Like the English bands we lived our lives and fought our fights only we stayed forever in the frontline. We cared and still care for the revolution of what punk and oi was all about.” Great oi bands still flourish in Germany, Sweden, France and Italy. Stomper 98 are particularly impressive. But the Yanks made the music their own. Oi was always viewed for what it was in the States: a distinctive brand of working class punk. It was hardcore bands like Agnostic Front who first invited the Business to play there. The first US Oi band Seb Grey's Iron Cross formed in 1981 in Washington DC. The torch was carried later that decade by bands like Warzone and The Press, the socialist Oi! band from New York whose anthem Revolution Now was directly inspired by the Gonads. But the US of Oi! really took of in the mid-1990s, with inspired outfits like Boston’s own Dropkick Murphys, plus The Bruisers, the Anti-Heroes and The Vandals. And the catalyst was The Business. their album The Truth was the corner-stone of the new StreetPunk scene – Steve Whale took all the best bits of Oi, the street-socialist principles, terrace camaraderie, mob choruses and deliberately fashioned them into something new and exciting.

The impact of the Truth can readily be heard in albums by Agnostic Front, the Murphys, the Anti-Heroes, the Briggs, the Street Dogs and scores more. StreetPunk acts are now one of the biggest branches of punk rock worldwide with global sales in excess of ten million. (Although hardcore Oi fans view many of these bands as too pop and prefer the more brickwall sound of blue collar US bands like Patriot, Hammer & The Nails and Tommy & The Terrors.) One of the best Oi-influenced bands was Operation Ivy, whose ska-punk numbers were punctuated with oi-oi terrace chants (this became a ska-punk tradition). Operation Ivy became Rancid, one of the hottest punk bands around. Rancid’s Oi anthem ‘Avenues & Alleyways’ appears with their permission on The Kings Of StreetPunk album, recently released by G&R records – the label formed by Mickey Geggus and Andy ‘Skully’ Russell . And Lars Frederiksen from Rancid has produced the debut album from ex-Business star Steve Whale’s brilliant new punk band The Masons – with guest vocalists including Stinky Turner, Charlie Harper and Steve Ignorant. Other major US punk bands including No Doubt and NOFX played Oi songs; NOFX were unashamedly inspired by Blitz and the Partisans. The Briggs cite the Cockney Rejects as a major influence, the Dropkick Murphys have performed with Liberty Hayes – daughter of Terry Hayes, of the East End Badoes and so it goes on. In 2000, I Scream Records released the first of two compilation albums called the Worldwide Tribute To The Real Oi. This featured major US bands like Agnostic Front, the Dropkick Murphys, and Sick Of It All performing classic Oi songs. The second volume included the Bouncing Souls and Roger Miret & The Disasters. Incidently the world’s largest organised tour against racism happened in the USA, featuring bands like Less Than Jake and The Toasters, and was sponsored by the Moon Ska label which is now run by rotund Oi stalwart Lol Pryor.

In April 2001, the US rock mag Spin put together their Top 50 most influential punk albums ever. Oi! – The Album, the record I had compiled for EMI 21 years, previously was in there with these words: ‘The white riot becomes a soccer riot: Oi! was punk dumbed down to a hilariously catchy chant and a knee in the bollocks.’ Not perfect but at least there wasn’t a sniff of any Nazi nonsense…unlike in Britain where apparently professional journalists like John Sweeney of The Observer feel free to trot out same old lies without ever checking the facts. Posers who work for Kerrang and Metal Hammer still refuse to write about the Business even though they gleefully write about bands who cite South London’s finest as their inspiration. And in 2001, UK CD manufacturer Disctronics declined to re-press well-known “Nazi” CDs like ‘Oi Oi Music’ by The Oppressed (the world’s leading anti-fascist Oi band!) and ‘100% British Ska’. Yeah, we still wind up the mugs.

The latest miscreant is Robert Elms. His book, The Way We Wore, starts with a lovingly accurate depiction of skinhead fashion in the sixties but goes on to dismiss Oi out of hand. Yet it’s clear from the text that Elms has no personal knowledge of the Oi scene, had never been to any gigs and has only a tenuous idea of when Oi happened and which bands were involved in it. It’s an odd book. Elms, an LSE graduate, lost his father at a young age and clearly looked up to his tougher brother Reggie and his skinhead pals with something approaching misty-eyed hero worship. He's hot for hooliganism (“working class teenage boys liked to dress up; working class teenage boys liked to fight”), and praises its “violent brilliance”. Yet strangely although gang warfare and terrace culture are fine in 1969, kids just like his brother's gang ten years later are completely written off. Elms admits (crassly) that he was attracted to punk by the awful rip-off fashions created by Vivienne Westwood; and by the politics of the Clash (nothing wrong with that). The music never really came in to it. To him, Oi was an ugly “monosyllabic” thing (unlike those colourfully polysyllabic cults such as Mod, Punk, Goth, Ted etc.) He manages to link the Southall gig with the death of Blair Peach, who was killed by the SPG more than two years before, simply because they happened in the same town. He writes that the “predominantly Asian area…was set alight during a riot at an Oi gig in a pub,” disingenuously failing to mention who was throwing the petrol bombs and who was doing the rioting… Inevitably by the early Eighties, Robert was closely associated with the New Romantics (i.e. the camp clown end of British youth cults) and was busy writing pretentious poetry for Spandau Ballet. In fact, Elms gave them their name – taken from Spandau prison which housed one Rudolph Hess. That kind of Nazi flirtation is so bold and decadent, don’tcha know? Spandau wrote some quality pop songs, of course, and I have to admit to a tinge of jealousy regarding Elms’s love life (he dated Sade), but his views on Oi are laughably poor journalism. Besides, it’s hard to be lectured by someone who finds Blue Rondo A La Turk more exciting than Cock Sparrer, and Steve Strange more noteworthy than Hoxton Tom. Make your own mind up which has the most lasting worth.

Will Oi ever become respectable? I doubt it. But I do know this: the movement that NME once said I had “invented” is still going strong at the end of its third decade. Pretty much any Oi! band that ever existed has now reformed. And the message is still the same as it always was. Oi’s self-definition of ‘having a laugh and having a say’ got it right on the button. The laughs were ten a penny for Jack the Lads knocking back pints and pills and pulling at the pubs, rampaging at the football grounds and revelling in rebel rock’n’roll at the gigs. Oi reflected that, but it also cried out against the injustices weighed up against the young working class. In that sense Oi was a real voice from the backstreets, a megaphone for dead-end yobs. At its best it went beyond protest, and dreamed of a better life: social change; the kids united.


A version of this piece appears in George’s Marshall book A Nation On Fire.

Essential discography, the classics, 1977 - 1983:

Cockney Rejects: Police Car, Bad Man, The Power & The Glory, Subculture, Oi Oi Oi, Ready To Ruck, Fighting In The Streets, War On The Terraces, Join The Rejects (Get Yourself Killed)

Cock Sparrer: Running Riot, England Belongs To Me, Take 'Em All, Chip On My Shoulder, Argy Bargy, Sunday Stripper, We're Coming Back,111111111111 Watch Your Back, Taken For A Ride.

Angelic Upstarts: The Murder Of Liddle Towers, Last Night Another Soldier, I'm An Upstart, Teenage Warning, Police Oppression, Never 'Ad Nothing, Shotgun Solution, England, Guns For The Afghan Rebels.

The 4-Skins: Chaos, Sorry, Wonderful World, 1984, One Law For Them, Evil, ACAB, Brave New World.

The Last Resort: Working Class Kids, King Of The Jungle, Violence In Our Minds.

The Blood: Megalomania, Stark Raving Normal, Gestapo Khazi, Such Fun, Mesrine, Se Parrare Nex.

The Gonads: I Lost My Love (To A UK Sub), SE7 Dole Day, Jobs Not Jails, Tucker's Ruckers Ain't No Suckers, Eat The Rich, The Joys Of Oi, Got Any Wrigleys, John?

The Business: Harry May, Suburban Rebels, Product, National Insurance Blacklist, Smash The Discos.

Blitz: Razors In The Night, Someone's Gonna Die, 45 Revolutions, Warriors, 4Q, Youth, Never Surrender.

Splodgenessabounds: Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps Please, We're Pathetique, The Butterfly Song, Two Little Boys, Delirious.

Vice Squad: Stand Strong, Stand Proud. Infa-Riot: Each Dawn I Die. Peter & The Test-Tube Babies: Maniac, Transvestite. The Partisans: Blind Ambition, No U-Turns. Case: Smiling My Life Away, Oh! Prole: Chasing Rainbows, Never Say Die. Garry Johnson: Dead End Yobs. The Strike: Gang Warfare, Skinhead. The Exploited: Army Life, Class War. The Toy-Dolls: Deirdre's A Slag, Frankie & The Flames: On Yer Bike!

Albums: Various Artists: Oi The Album, Strength Thru Oi, Carry On Oi.

Cockney Rejects: Greatest Hits Volume One. Blitz: Voice Of A Generation. The Business: Suburban Rebels. The Gonads: Old Boots, No Panties. Menace: GLC RIP - the Best of. Angelic Upstarts: Two Million Voices. The Blood: False Gestures For A Devious Public.

Modern Oi classics, recommended: Dropkick Murphys: Barroom Hero. Argy Bargy: No Regrets. Cock Sparrer: Suicide Girls. Discipline: Everywhere We Go. Superyob: Cockney King. Resistance 77: Run Run Run. Lars Frederiksen & The Bastards: Skunx. Dropkick Murphys: Your Spirit Survives. The Gonads: Alconaut. Cockney Rejects: Fists Of Fury. Splodgenessabounds: Parallel Lines. Beerzone: Strangle All The Boy Bands. Millwall Roi & The Last Resort: We're Gonna Get You. Cockney Rejects: Out Of The Gutter. Combat 84: It's Kickin' Off. Dropkick Murphys: Boys On The Docks. Maninblack: New York New York USA. The Gonads: Oi Mate. The Cockney Rejects: Cockney Reject. Rancid: Avenues & Alleyways. The Gonads: Hey You. Cock Sparrer: Too Late. Cockney Rejects: Unforgiven. Argy Bargy: Lights Over London

Modern Albums: Various Artists: The Worldwide Tribute To The Real Oi; Cock Sparrer: Here We Stand. Various Artists: The Kings of Streetpunk. Various Artists: Oi Fuck You. Various Artists: Addicted To Oi; Various Artists: Give 'Em The Boot 1 - IV. The Last Resort: Skinhead Anthems II. The Gonads: 'Glorious Bastards'. Control 'Hooligan Rock & Roll'.

Pre-Oi street punk classics. Sham 69: Song Of The Streets, Hey Little Rich Boy, Rip-Off, Borstal Breakout, Red London, I Don't Wanna, Tell Us The Truth, Ulster Boy. Menace: GLC, Last Year's Youth, Screwed Up, I'm Civilised, Carry No Banners. Slaughter & The Dogs: Where Have All The Boot Boys Gone? UK Subs: Stranglehold. The Ruts: Babylon's Burning, Staring At The Rude Boys. The Lurkers: Total War. The Skids: Into The Valley.

© Garry Bushell 2000, updated 2009




 

 

 

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