BUSHELL ON THE BLOG
March 3: This blog is closed due to looming book deadlines. Back next month.
March 2. So the sell-out begins. Theresa May today promised EU fishing fleets “reciprocal access” to British waters in her Mansion House speech. In other words she’ll let the Spanish and Danish fishermen carry on pillaging our fish stocks indefinitely. Tepid Theresa has always been as reliable as British public transport in a light blizzard. In poker terms, she’d fold on four of a kind. The gutless PM is happy to sell our fishermen down the river. Who will she knife next? May and her fellow EU appeasers have been bolstered by UKIP’s self-inflicted collapse and the silencing of the Labour Leave lobby – stabbed in the back by Corbyn and co. (Why on earth would anyone think that staying in the customs union, giving Brussels 100% control of our trade policy with no say ourselves was a sensible option? Let alone a “progressive” one?) Independence must mean exactly that. Genuine Cabinet Brexiteers owe it to the 17.4million to push the rock-solid case for walking away without a deal. Meanwhile, the most reliable rational opposition to the sell-out comes from spiked-online.com
March 1. Happy St David’s Day to any Welsh readers. Come, mun, pints of Brains all round.
Feb 27. I disagree with Max Mosley on most things, not least his bid to stifle the press. But it’s hard not to feel a little sorry for him. Max was 21 when he was involved in his father’s Union Movement. When I was 21, I believed whole-heartedly in an armed revolution to establish a workers’ state. But using the articles I wrote for Socialist Worker and Rebel in 1976 as evidence of my current views would be nonsensical. People can change their minds. Max appears to have lost his faith in fascism by the age of 23, much sooner than I lost mine in Bolshevism. It’s possible that he perjured himself in his court case against the News Of The World, but that is for the law to decide. The main objection to him is that he has used his considerable fortune to fund those who want to keep the indiscretions and misdeeds of the rich and famous out of the newspapers. He did this under the disingenuous banner of a campaign for ‘privacy laws’ andfound a natural ally in Labour’s toad-like deputy Tom Watson who also hates the free press. Max subbed him to the tune of half a million quid. Will Watson give it back? Labour supported the charities that returned a small fortune raised for their use by the Presidents Club – even though that money would have saved the lives of children. Surely the Party should make Tom cough up? Otherwise they will face looking like a cynical bunch of hypocrites for only the 97th time this year. (By the way, shouldn’t the people feeling most aggrieved by Max’s actions be his former comrades in the Mosleyite ranks? All that dosh going to the treacherous, degenerate enemy...)
Pity Egyptian singer Sherine Abdel Wahab who has been sentenced to six months in prison for a joke. Sherine, a judge on the Arabic version of The Voice and one of Egypt’s most famous singers, cracked a gag about the cleanliness of the Nile claiming that drinking from the river might give them parasites. “Drink Evian instead,” she said with a laugh. A Cairo court found Sherine guilty of ‘spreading false news’. She was also ordered to pay a £10K fine. UK comedians who consider themselves “dangerous” should bear in mind that there are still plenty of places where they’ll lock you up for laughing.
Feb 26. RIP Barbara Alston of the Crystals, who has died after a bout of flu. The Crystals were a New York group who signed to Phil Spector’s Phillies label notching up monster hits including ‘Then He Kissed Me’, and ‘Da Doo Ron Ron’. Barbara also sang on the group’s debut single ‘There’s No Other (Like My Baby)’, ‘Uptown’ and the more controversial ‘He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)’ which she later disowned. She passed away ten days ago, aged 74.
Feb 25. Corbyn’s support for keeping Britain in a customs union with the EU makes no sense whatsoever. We are the world’s fifth biggest trading nation and the second biggest economy in the EU. Why on earth would we need to hand control of our trade policy to Brussels? Why does the Labour leader want to tie the UK to the over-regulated, bureaucratic, megalithic, top-down, dysfunctional EU? The truth is he doesn’t. Comrade Cob is playing politics with the biggest challenge in modern history. People will see through it.
Feb 16. Don Letts's documentary The Story of Skinhead is repeated on BBC4 tonight. Don genuinely wanted to tell "the real story" of the world's most misunderstood youth cult and in fairness he got the early stuff right. Unfortunately he got Oi all wrong. Don admits he didn’t like or “get” Oi music and is happy to recycle the usual tired media myths about the Southall riot of 1981. According to the film, a few Oi bands deliberately chose to play the Middlesex town in order to provoke its large Asian population into rioting. Why would they have done that? Don could have asked any of the bands who were on the bill that night, most of them are still alive. He could have asked the paying fans. Instead he lazily recycles old footage. Don tells me, on film, that the bands should not have played “an Asian area”. But the bands came primarily from inner city London and had always played multi-racial areas (including Peckham and Hackney) without a sniff of racial conflict. All of the trouble at Oi gigs up to that point (Ladbroke Grove, Southgate) had been football related. Had the bands deliberately set out to provoke chaos, they would not have booked a gig on the fringe of West London on a night that West Ham were playing at home in East London. They certainly wouldn’t have brought women and kids along.
Let’s get this in perspective. No-one died at Southall. It wasn’t the US hip hop scene. It wasn’t Altamont. Most Oi gigs, and there have been thousands, were and are trouble free. Yet Oi is still uniquely demonised by the mass media because of this one show. The line goes – Oi was just for skinheads (it wasn’t) and all skins were Nazis (they never ever were – although many jumped on the bandwagon after the Mail etc misreported that night). Yes TV can illustrate that analysis with historic footage of young kids making sieg heil gestures. But that’s misleading. Far-right skins were the news story, so that was the kind of shot the news crews went for. (TV history is shaped by the footage available, that then gets recycled, hence the line repeats...) There were thousands of left-wing skins at Right To Work, RAR and ANL events at the time but they weren’t filmed because they weren’t “the story”. There were also the so-called Skin Fein republican skins, pro-Labour skins, the Ladbroke Grove Skins and a vast majority who weren’t interested in politics at all. None of them were ever interviewed by the Daily Mail. As a consequence the narrative established by post-Southall news coverage had a negative effect all over the world. (To underline my point the News of the World once ran a shock horror news ‘exclusive’ about the threat of pro-IRA Nazis on the basis of the views of just one far-right nutcase! No-one ever spoke to the anarchist skins...)
British skinheads weren’t angels. The majority liked a scrap. Most were hooligans, many were thieves. Quite a few ended up in borstal. Their language was largely illiberal. Their views probably wouldn’t ever make the basis of a Guardian editorial. But it is an out-right lie to claim they were all rightwing extremists, and a bigger one to suggest that Oi was. No Oi bands were involved in the neo-Nazi Blood & Honour scene which was launched years later in 1987. Back in 1981 Oi bands hit back at the media smears by doing anti-racist gigs... another fact that is rarely reported. There were violent clashes between Oi bands and neo-Nazis, which the master-race lost. And if you're going to make a show about skinhead politics then surely there should have been some mention of the Redskins, the Blaggers ITA and Red Action’s Oi shows – if only for balance? Don is sniffy about the music not being Jamaican but the biggest skinhead act of all time were the rock band Slade (even if their image was contrived and they quickly ditched it). Besides it's beyond patronising to write off a scene as diverse and long-running as Oi, which stretches from the sublime (Cock Sparrer, Blitz, the Business, the Cockney Rejects) to the ridiculous (Barney Rubble, Splodge, The Toy Dolls etc) via ranting poets, artists and novelists in such an off-hand fashion. Viewers should have been told about the wealth of protest songs that came out of streetpunk, such as National Insurance Blacklist, Work Or Riot, Two Million Voices and Jobs Not Jails (that slogan taken from a socialist skinhead protest march in Sheffield in the summer of 1981). They should have been told about Nellie The Elephant and Two Pints Of Lager & A Packet Of Crisps. They should have learned how Oi influenced bands all around the globe, including Rancid and the Dropkick Murphys. Oi has been maligned and written off for more than three decades, yet it still survives, with scenes everywhere from Indonesia to the States via Russia, China, Australia, Canada, Japan, Germany, France, Malaysia and Scandinavia.
There is a world of difference between skinheads and boneheads. The shaved-bald scruffs of later years were as distinct from the original skins in their fashion, their music and their views, as Mods were from beatniks. It’s a crying shame that extremist politics polluted street music. But it’s worth pointing out that the 2-Tone bands suffered far more from far-Right violence than the Oi bands did, largely because the Oi bands fought back. And why does no-one ask if Malcolm McLaren’s use of swastikas “to shock” years earlier might have attracted the extreme right into punk in the first place? There was a lot of questionable imagery floating around in the 1970s... starting with Bowie’s flirtation with fascism. Southall wasn’t a conspiracy, it was a cock-up, a comedy of errors. That’s all there was to it. The mass media’s treatment of it, however, compared to more violent incidents involving other cults, suggests that there is no-one that the puffed-up middle class hate more than the white working class. The famous Class sketch from TV’s The Frost Report comes to mind: ‘I look down at him because he is lower class’. But unlike dear old Ronnie Corbett, the Oi kids never knew their place.
Feb 15. Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn met a Communist spy at the height of the Cold War, according to today’s papers. The revelation comes straight from the files of the Czech state security agency known as the StB. I don’t doubt it. We know Jezza’s judgement is lousy. My only question is what state secrets would a no-mates backbencher ever have had access to? (Comrade Corbyn’s codename was ‘Cob’; specialist subject: ‘Cobblers’).
Feb 8. George Soros, a billionaire financier, has spent £400,000+ to push policies in favour of the global elite – who’d have thought it?
Feb 5. R.I.P. John Mahoney, better known as Martin Crane in Frasier. I’ll write more about him in the TV column, but the curmudgeonly ex-cop was the perfect counterpoint to his clever but pretentious sons. One episode stands out in my memory – the night Marty took his boys Frasier and Nile to his favourite restaurant, a homely steakhouse called Timberland. Naturally the two food snobs took the pee all evening until Martin finally snapped. “All right,” he said. “That's it. I've had enough of you two jack-asses. I've spent the whole night listening to you making cracks about the food and the help. Well, I got news for you: People like this place. I like this place. And when you insult this restaurant, you insult me. You know, I used to think you two took after your mother, liking the ballet and all that, but your mother liked a good ball-game too. She even had a hot dog once in a while. She may have had fancy tastes, but she had too much class to ever make me or anybody else feel second-rate. If she saw the way you two have behaved tonight, she'd be ashamed. I know I am.” No other scene captures why Martin was so important to the sitcom’s success. He was utterly down to earth, a man of the people who brought the common touch and common sense to the show. If Frasier and Niles were its brains, Marty was Frasier’s soul. The brilliant writers, of whom Joe Keenan was the best, supplied Blackpool-born John with classic one-liners too. Like when Niles, talking about his nightmare wife, asked: “What’s wrong with Maris?” Martin replied: “I’ll start, Frasier can jump in when I get hoarse.”
Feb 9. We’ve re-launched the Benny Hill Statue Campaign. We need to raise just £60,000 to erect a larger-than-life bronze Benny in Southampton. So it only takes 6,000 of Benny’s fans worldwide to donate £10 a-piece and we’ll make the statue a reality.
And this time there is no artificial Kickstarter time-limit. The statue campaign is now linked to an HSBC bank account and you can donate via the PayPal button below. We will keep going until we hit the target. No-one involved will receive a fee except for the sculptor Graham Ibbeson. And no money will be wasted on admin or event organisers’ expenses. We will stage fund-raising events, big and small, later this year to help raise the cash. If we top the target, all extra funds will be donated to charity. In an increasingly po-faced and puritanical world, there has never been a better to time to honour this humble comedy genius who brought laughter to millions. You can donate any amount to the campaign via the button below, or on the campaign page.